i need a brother in spirit
to kneel for my deliverance &sing hosana to the homeless man
and so help me forget who i am
that i may walk with angels
and drink from foreverfruit
knowing a language beyond words
i demand from you life.
so give me it now.
life life life life
i was a boy of 13
never been kissed
sinking into echoes
engulfed in the black of my eye
dreaming of light separating like seeds
then to a moment i sang
and to a moment i died
and eternal that moment became
and to live was to love
and so i am vibration.
A contest entry
- too late... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended August 3, 2009, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Poem That I Can Get Into!!! Give Me Your Best! by MJ Forgives.
1000 points, ended August 13, 2009, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abstract by Tivoli.
425 points, ended August 4, 2009, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Writes ~ A Going Away Contest by Wrong Format.
2200 points, ended August 12, 2009, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING GOES!! by LonelyAngel.
600 points, ended August 27, 2009, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I was not too sure on how it was laid out at first but once you have worked it out, its a good write. My favourite part was:
''i was a boy of 13
never been kissed
sinking into echoes
engulfed in the black of my eye
dreaming of light separating like seeds''
Because this is the most powerful part for me, and the idea of sinking into echoes is a fabulous thing to say as it is imaginable. I hope you do well in my contes, Thank you for the entry!
xYx -
It was cool to read and I hope you do well in my contest. Also thanks for entering it too! I appreciate it.
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I love this! especially the opening two lines. great work.
i think its spelt 'hosanna' thoug -
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duh...(bangs head against fist). i should have known this one. thanks for the heads up!
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you're welcome... its always embarrassing when i have typos when im correcting someone else :S
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knowing a language beyond words..yes you a are really aware of the language which is beyond the words..but with the great meaning in it..well done...
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I love this. I think this was very beautiful... the line about oxygen messed with the flow a lil perhaps. but over all, very nice work. smiles, and nods.
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yes. thankyou. reading this again i agree. poof...gone! thanks again.
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