Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The Color of Blood

I pass’d again the green hills of lonely countryside
and ran my hands through delicate blades
they told a story once
of laughing eyes and youthful curiosity
of tender smiles and clever minds
but now the hills are silent
as I am silent…
our souls…
stained forever red.

The land shudders in pain
as a soft wind ripples down its spine

I close my eyes,
welcoming the oblivion of my mind
I clutch the earth, bereft
knowing that it shares my pain
and with hope all but abandoned,


I weep.

Author notes

for Pick Your Option:
1) Dark. Not scary, just brutal reality and brutal past.

for Come On, Kids!:
Option 3. (is this considered G - rated?)

for Anything:
20 lines, ... including spaces?

This was a very carefully crafted poem and I hope you saw it like I did. This is based on the aftermath of the Holocaust, in Poland.

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Beautiful-N-Broken silver member
    1 day ago
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write! I loved these lines:

    The land shudders in pain
    as a soft wind ripples down its spine

    Good luck in the contest and thank you so much for entering.


  • Unbreakable3
    July 29
    Edit | Reply
    Very good job, I liek the placement and strenght of the lats line, I weep. So simple!


  • Draggiegurl
    July 29
    Edit | Reply

    Great job

    Wow... Great poem!
    Gratz on winning gold you definately deserve it!
    -Draggie


  • Palas Kumar Ray
    July 27
    Edit | Reply
    Most delicate and beautiful narration of feelings.Love it.


  • Granny Goose silver member
    July 26
    Edit | Reply
    This is an awesome poem, written with compassion, a sadness buried within that compassion.
    You did an excellent job of making the reader feel the pain, the sadness, the emotion of your words. The holocaust is something we should never forget, should be one of the important lessons of life and history, so that we can prevent it from happening again... anywhere.

    Thank you for entering this meaningful piece.

    Granny Goose


  • Riftkin gold member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    This was sad, and yet the horror still stands out in many peoples minds.
    Best wishes with this in my contest.
    Riftkin

1 - 7 of 7