Stradle the line between truth and charm.
I am wearing thin and so is my patience.
I have found the age of ignorance.
Oh keep living for all those dreams you have.
My walls so high there impervious to light.
Even your absorbing eyes don't penetrate.
Still you linger lips across my rouge cheek.
Flickering lashes wipe away pouring anguish.
I'm down for the count in my gloom ridden room.
Black curtains dance in the moonlight thinking of you.
And yet you broke right through the darkest night.
Shine for me again, shimmering diamond stars.
I'll make this wish upon your lips.
One last hopeful glimpse at happiness.
And these hands have traveled miles.
But no road has been this smooth.
And you're driven through every road block
No matter consequence or even punishment
Danger lies ahead for you my love.
It's just a dead end road of broken hearts.
Off the edge of the cliff your headlights shining.
You take the leap to my darkest depths.
Fallen soldier was it worth the fight?
Just to spend another night with me.
I am captured in your web, my little spider.
Your poison mouth has captured another victim.
I am weakened, heart racing for my last breath
I'm entwined in your capture, you're my death.
And all my darkness, and all my light.
Are wound up in you.
Author notes
It isn't a little longer. sorry 
A contest entry
- prompt quickie. by Andi..
1100 points, ended July 19, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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All wound up it seems at time You are the death of me, at least thats my intake
Love the usage of words, imaginative
Very good, and nice to read!
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You deserved the silver trophy in this contest; thats for sure!! This was fantastic. "and all my darkness and all my light. Are wound up in you" hrmmmm. interesting, but i loved it
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wow it's a great one. I like it alot.
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Awesome Blossomness
Wow that was gay of me lol. Oh well, on to your poem. It was fantastical with a hint of greatness. I loved the opening line and the last two brought this poem to its proper end. Well written, and full of imagery. I especially like the lines:
"Fallen soldier was it worth the fight?
Just to spend another night with me."
I wish I could put more lines that I favored, but Im afraid Id pratically be copy and pasting your entire poem lol.
Keep writing wifey,
Silvos. <---Im pretty amazing.
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Hmmm. That was rather gay of you. lol. And I can see why those fallen solider lines struck you especially since you were a motivation along with another to this write. lol. Thank you for commenting darling. It's always nice to hear from you.
Sincerely,
Eggeh<---I'm awesomer. -
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You know you love my comments, gay or not. Why you ask? Because I taught you how to be awsomer due to me being the most awesomester.
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:) Lovingly Sad :(
Not longer dear, but more interesting, with greater number of words to make it lovely. It is so painful and that too written at a prompt. The beginning two lines are just great, I am feeling like keeping reciting both of them all the day long
"Stradle the line between truth and charm.
I am wearing thin and so is my patience."
Take care and keep eggling
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Great for a quickie 7/10
But for a few grammar issues and spelling...the sentiment was fabulous...Congratulations on your win!! After reading your take on your poem, I became quite confused...I totally believed you were the one in trouble...not laying a trap nor lying in wait....but the other way around -
I love this Eggy
You are great
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I really like the title and the depth of the write.
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whew!
love comes in many shapes, sizes and colors...with it's numerous emotions...these speak loudly and strong! myfavorite line.."I'm down for the count in my gloom ridden room"-here the narrator surely takes full responsibility...with courage! Well done and ALL the best to you!
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It seems like there's quite a deconstructive relationship going on here, unless I am misreading quite a bit.
Am I? -
Very expressive... pretty intense too!
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kinda dark for renewed love egger
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it is supposed to signify how hard of a road a guy will have to go through to actually get to me. He did in the end though
thanks for the comment!
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i would DQ you for goin over the 15-22 lines.. but coz I love ya so much Holly, I'll allow it.. just this once
well done, and best of luck to you my cutie Egg
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Awww I loves ya too!
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