*(Thanks Ian, for the Inspiration...Once again.)
The universe collapses
around me
I try to breathe
wet kisses of dreams slather my mind
in unfocused haze
on the fringe
I cry
used up tears
that fill
an ocean of space
Ian, YOU'RE THE BEST!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Excellent job. Very touching and visual. I really like it.
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And once that space is filled THEN you will have the substance to
finally swim away and be free...
Happy Holidays
Hugs...Eddy
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This is a really moving piece you've written here - a bit jagged like the emotions you capture so well here.
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i am not sure for i do not recal lurie what i said to inspire
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such a little poem to inspire so many images and ideas - for some reason I get the idea of an hourglass - might be the poems shape or the idea of something collapsing then being sent out again - the ending turns you back to the beginning again - like turning over the hourglass to start again
don't mind me - just rambling
:]
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a good poem, ah the sighs we all release with poetry, there is always that ocean of space to fill.
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I really like the concept of "used up tears". Carries something extra. Nice imagery.
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Awwwwwwwh
This felt lonely to me and like you was the only comfort for yourself like cryin alone or being alone feeling alone. Did I catch on to it? Kind like you being the only one there for you in the mist of sadness. Sometimes it does feel that way doesn't it. Good writing filled with emotional pain....
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