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Tracing Aurora (2008)



There's a blanket upon this sleeping town as I crawl from bed into my work day blues. A dim light pulses from the alarm clock, reminding me that wise men are still asleep. As I open the front door, cold air greets me, chilling my still stiff bones. I pull my knit cap over my ears, leaving a coffee stained mug to keep watch until I return home.

Young Goodman Brown follows me, whispering in my ear, "Look up to Heaven, and resist the Wicked One" but it's less a caution than a teasing song.¹

A dog howl's in the distance, the sound carries a hollowness, and it removes for the moment, the thoughts of feet crunching the hoary ground.  Autumn's chill is giving way to the death of winter's cold and soon the crush of frosted grass will be silenced beneath the falling snow.

As I trace this blind man's path where curtained windows mirror the night, memories rise to crowd my head, and conjure truths I've hid from sight. It's a lonely path I trudge each day, a ritual, a needed chore. Yet as I walk, I silently pray, that I wake to many more.

This is the trek I dread the most, the one I take alone, as daylight breaks upon the town and separates me from home.

Author notes

If this doesn't fit your contest, just delete it. Hopefully it does. It's a memory, a daily one. I wasn't sure if you wanted one or all three, you used the word "or" between each which to me implied to use one of the options.

¹ From: Young Goodman Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorne. It's a story about the conflict between good and evil. Young Goodman Brown is a traveling partner of one who is assumed to be the devil and their journey is to join in an unholy ritual. My little pun suggesting that work is an evil ritual.

Aurora: Roman Goddess of the dawn.

There is an element here beyond the literal. It runs throughout the tale and culminates in the last sentence.

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • waydownuponjoy
    October 23

    Edit | Reply

    Yes!

    you fixed that lip-stained cup to coffee stained mug ... which works well! And here it is Saturday morning and you're still up before the dawn ... "you can't teach a 'trained' dog new tricks for he knows that there are some bitches howling about that may need his attention!

    "A dog howl's in the distance, the sound carries a hollowness, and it removes for the moment, the thoughts of feet crunching the hoary ground. Autumn's chill is giving way to the death of winter's cold and soon the crush of frosted grass will be silenced beneath the falling snow."

    "This is the trek I dread the most, the one I take alone, as daylight breaks upon the town and separates me from home." (and that is where the heart is?)

    I'm going on to find another of your gems that I possibly haven't read before ...

    What else am I going to do in this darkness? I can't wait until the clocks change and it's lighter earlier!

    j y

    • Yemassee gold member
      October 23
      Edit | Reply
      Yep, I fixed the coffee cup thing. I usually listen to people's advice, quite often they see what I can't or didn't. Thanks for the help there. Also thank you for the lovely comment.

      Umm, today is Friday not Saturday. At least in Maine it is.


  • ShaShay
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    You spin a nice little tale here. I almost wanted to cry..........not. LOL But it is very touching and I always enjoy your writes. Take care and keep penning.
    Sharon


  • pixiestix gold member
    August 18
    Edit | Reply
    Sure go and post the good stuff while I'm away on vacation.

    If I can't have a copy of Silent Snow, I want this one.





    • Yemassee gold member
      August 18

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, it's not new, I just made believe it was new for a contest I entered it in. But the host didn't seem to like it (but liked to rather incoherent ones) so I removed it -- but I'm not bitter, lol Done with contests, I have my four colors.

      Thank you, the ending needs work, it's too abrupt,


      • pixiestix gold member
        August 19

        Edit | Reply
        You're the writer and know where you want to go with it.

        I still like it.

        • Yemassee gold member
          August 19
          Edit | Reply
          I didn't write it. I plagiarized it from an old magazine.

          Hiya

          • Yemassee gold member
            August 19
            Edit | Reply
            And yes, anyone indignant fellows reading, I am kidding, who else would write this crap but me?

  • A picture can paint a thousand words, but it's even more impressive when a few paragraphs paint a whole picture. Nicely done!


  • Truetome
    August 7

    Edit | Reply
    hmmmm... read this o'er several times... interesting e'en still, this went o'er my head. expressed well. love & music.

  • So appealing with its below the surface message...I dig it

  • Work is an evil ritual! ugh...I have to head off to work in half hour *yawn*
    great piece...I love your prose and the detail of your thoughts ...reminds me a lot of myself.




  • Mari Goes gold member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    I like this curtained prose. You are a very good prose-guy, always been and only get better

  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Aha---I remember this, and the original description of the cup.
    Although I eventurally came to the conclusion it was the speaker's
    cup, it did hint that it may have referred to lipSTICK stained cup
    and that someone else was still in the house warming the bed.

    You create moods so easily, lay out a life in a few paragraphs,
    exposing what the person loves and what he dreads.

    Skillfully intense, as expected.

    M-C

  • i like this poem it was good

  • Facing what bores ya'

    Although I have not read the particulars of this contest, I can readily see that this is a prose or freewrite submission ... I commend Catie Sheeran for affording you an opportunity to share your lore and I am glad that I came to read what you wrote. The first sentence is a good line and baited me right away as did the title. I like the expression 'pulses' from the alarm clock and as for the wisemen still asleep, a clever way of having a mind flip-flop and come up with a positive! I kinda wondered about the ** lip-stained ** coffee cup, immediately picturing a woman's lipstick left there but maybe I've not viewed a man's cup lately! ... and I'll go on! As for the rest of the story ... your imagery was sharp and immediately began to stir my imagination to a different realm, almost as if I had walked there with you from my remote location, and thought of my own truths that I've hid from sight. That is the 'work' of a good artist and so therefore ... I commend you for this piece and for opening my insight to 'life from the other side'. Work can be viewed as a necessary evil or a means to an end and the joys of retirement.

    I am honing my skills for commenting and hope that you take this in the light for which was intended.

    did I say, "thanks for sharing?" joy

    • Yemassee gold member
      July 19
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, I wondered about the "lip-stained" line myself. Seeing how you saw it I now know I have to fix it. Maybe I'm a messy drinker but I leave coffee stains on the sides of the cup. But you are right, the reader's first thought will go to lipstick. So I'll fix that now.

      So as you can see, your honing worked.

      Thanks!


  • JinSays gold member
    July 19

    Edit | Reply

    I really (reallyreallyreally) love your prose. The opening line is just perfect, and the resulting thoughts lean into my mind, almost diasappearing.

    Where's the button for the 462 applauses?
    Love,
    Jin

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