Take a closer look at me
Imagine what I see
Raging fire and shattered glass
Images of ghosts from my past
Never been rich, athletic, or a brainiac
Just another prodigal maniac
Never had love that wasn't later taken
And I've grown too cold to be shaken
If there's a "God" I'd like to know where he is
Ask him "If I'm doin' my job, why isn't he doin' his?"
Sometimes at night, I can sense the breeze but I don't feel the cold
Wherever I am, I feel like a grain of dirt surrounded by gold
I ask myself "If I let my guard down, will I find someone real?"
From deep down within to their slightest feel?
After not too long that thought ceases to ploy
Been shattered too much, I won't let myself be destroyed
I don't know what's right, I'm in total decay
Can't be saved, Death please take me away
Lost the will, and I have no more consistency
Excluded everywhere and unwanted by my own family
I can't walk, so I drop to my knees
Putting the gun to my head, all I can say is "Please"
Please forgive me, I never wanted this
Death comes before me, reading off his list
Pull the trigger but I only hear a click
I look to the sky and scream "You fuckin' dick!"
So here I sit, knowing there's no other way
I'm God's greatest joke, and I'm here to stay
What did you think?
Comments
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I know how this feels. I too am agnostic; though at first it was hard for me. I was upright southern bible-belt christian. I find that I feel better without looking to a god or wondering what it thinks of me or if I'm displeasing it. I have that nagging feeling sometimes that says "Something is there". However I don't think it's the christian god, it's it's a god or deity at all. I figure it's better to believe in none at all than believe in one to the point of wishing someone ill will over it. Lol. Now that I've ranted. I loved the rhyming, a few points were choppy in flow such as:
"After not too long that thought ceases to ploy
Been shattered too much, I won't let myself be destroyed"
Seems it should be:
"Not long after the thought ceases to ploy
I've been shattered too much, won't let myself be destroyed"
But that's just me; it just seems worded oddly. ^_^ Overall great and right powerful message. ^_^
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this is a goo poem i like it
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I honestly liked this!! It was heartfelt and had a lot of emotion in it, way to go. I agree with Babygurl209, you are talented....Great write
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nice
ur a good writer
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