A stranger's hands are stroking me,
Stroking me to life.
In their touch I feel the clutch
Of a ripping, shredding knife.
It doesn't ask, it doesn't tell,
And this place it seems a dream.
I think of what was home to me
And then I start to scream.
In the place where I once lay,
The earth crumbles and shakes around.
I'm scratching, clawing desperately,
Trying to get back underground.
Silence fills my ears with throbs
And thrums of static and blood
Before I claw my ears away
And exhausted begin to sob.
The trees around are grey and black
And yellow, pink and green.
The sky is starless and heavily clouded
In a way that seems obscene.
My liver, lungs and kidneys,
My heart and brains and eyes -
All the little parts of me -
All rained on by the sky.
Skin flayed back, tendons exposed,
This stranger pulls me on.
Though I whimper fall and beg
I have no legs to run.
This stranger has stolen me,
Stolen me from rest.
He's cut me up and bled me out
And crawled into my chest.
His whispering and simpering
And conniving here and there;
I cannot get away from him!
I cannot breathe the air!
In misery I fall again
And then I break my hands
Against a rock and feel the shock
Disrupt the demons demands.
His eyes are crossed and now I feel
A little light inside;
But soon enough my hope is crushed
And he re-skins my hide.
Reborn now as a puppet to
His puppet-master role;
My fate is done in runes and string
And to him I must bow:
Doomed to spend eternity
Without my heaven-dreams
And Mastered by this wormy thing
In my World of Screams.
Author notes
FORK ISSUES
20. "Here comes the rain again/falling from the stars/drenched in my pain again/becoming who we are"- Greenday-Wake me up when september ends.
This is a pre-write but this is the closest quote I could find for the 'OPTIONS!!!' contest.
I hope you don't hate my rhyme...
Pain and anger - inner turmoil.
Came out at work on my lunch break one day when I was in a particularly nasty depression. 'nuf said.
A contest entry
- Prewrites, show me what you got. by GraveyardGoddess.
400 points, ended July 22, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PreWrites! by Menna.
700 points, ended July 29, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES! by forbidden-colour.
400 points, ended August 10, 112 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What feelings did this give you, and what lines evoked those feelings?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Ooo, I finished reading and frantically searched for more! This needs more! more more!
Thank you for entering, I enjoyed the start and how it affects your reading and their experiance of your poem!
Thank you for entering .
Sophie
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I liked this although I'm not sure I understood it all. The ending is just excellent though and I loved the imagery. The only line I wasn't keen on was line 18 when you add more colours for the trees. I liked the grey and black part but just wondered about the "And yellow, pink and green" part. Thoroughly enjoyed reading though and wish you good luck in the contest.
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colours
well in Australia we have a lot of gum trees and there's one particular type that have a pink tone to the outside and some have a creamy yellow. I only noticed it walking down the street earlier this year I think and while they mostly have pale creamy trunks on this sort, I was actually struck by the overt shading. They're really gorgeous trees.
The 'green' I added on a whim - I was on a mental roll but it could be... maybe wattle? It's got green stems and leaves but in winter blooms these gorgeous little puff-balls of yellow.
Now that I've thought of that last bit I'll suggest there are references to the aussie bush - or it could be a dreamworld - a nightmare world. Whatever you want really - could be hell?
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I wish i could copy some of the sentences..some parts of the poem here and rate them to 200 out of 100. But this site has some rules and i just cant copy. But i can tell you that this poem is one of the best. I dont know why its still waiting for its maiden trophy, but from the start to end it has a great flow, nice sense, fantastic expression and balanced word selection to make it one of the great.
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Hmm.
I like the story to the poem.
And the emotions were pretty good.
Reborn now as a puppet to
His puppet-master role;
My fate is done in runes and string
And to him I must bow:
I liked that ^^
Thanks for entering,
Good luck darling.
<3
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Oh my gosh I love this! I am horrible at rhyme and you did so well with maintaining an eery tone to the poem but still rhyming perfectly. This was really quite a creepy poem! Well done!!!
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hey
thanks so much for that, yeah I've never really gone in this direction before so I'm glad it affected you like that
And thank you so much for reading it - it can be hard getting exposure on this site 'cause there's so much good stuff floating around Speaking of I'm really liking some of your work right now 
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Thanks! Yeah I totally know how you feel! Its like before I got on this sight I thought I was pretty good and then I got on here and I was like wow I'm really not as great as I thought...
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