It’s the last little hole in the Bible belt
that wraps itself right ‘round the Suwannee,
it’s a paradise where nature is rife
though hard-pressed if your focus is money!
A writer’s retreat, far away from the crowd
that gets maddened by smoggy old news,
truly God’s acre and mine as well
where the whines or the pines aren‘t abused.
A sandy white trail, called a graded road,
winds out and away from the town
where only one light keeps the deputies sane
when the courthouse, at five, closes down.
A few little shops line the one main road,
there’s fuel and there’s food, but not much,
plenty of churches remain, though in vain,
as the locals still carry a crutch.
Sundays and Wednesdays the parking lots fill
though you won’t find me parking quite near,
you’ll find me instead where the air is fresh
for that service takes place way down here.
In springtime the dogwoods and redbuds get blooms
and the cypress sprout downy fresh green,
as the river starts rising, we watch for the flood
which assists in spring-cleaning this scene.
By summer, wildflowers take precedence here
so mowing and trimming aren‘t done,
butterflies flit with the birds and the bees,
flying dragons suck skeeters by tons.
I must not forget Spanish moss for this scene
how it drapes from the trees like gray ghosts,
surreal, yet serene on a moonlit night
when that whisper drifts in from the coast.
Autumn brings charm like a Southern belle
to the trees that are shedding their clothes,
their colors stand out from perpetual green
just like those of the North, I suppose.
When winter stalks in, it is usually night
and she pads all the decks with her rime,
but it doesn’t take long for the warm winter sun
to erase ev’ry trace left behind.
The seasons are short like thunder with rain
and that old adage applies around here,
if you don’t like the weather, relax for a bit
‘cause ‘round here life is based on austere.
© 2009 Joy A. Burki-Watson
Author notes
I just have to smile about the place I call home! "way down upon joy" and it is what destined me to adopt my user name!
A contest entry
- Your Neck of the Woods by Olivias Violin.
575 points, ended July 24, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - # 195 Write a poem about a city by Andantino.
1650 points, ended November 13, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
All comments are appreciated / answer in kind!
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
You've told us quite a bit about your "neck of the woods", with competent rhyme and rhythm. I'd encourage you to take a good look at the verbs you have used, and try to obtain more mileage from them - verbs like get, take, bring, and is have no descriptive quality to them.
Danni
-
Very nice!
The use of quatrains gives the eye a little extra white space, which does wonders! Well done!
Z.E.
-
Hello, Joy!
My first impression with your poem (which I daresay is quite important to other prospective readers, as well.) is that I was daunted, having one large stanza to face. My instinct is to warn you to shy away from this -- as some people will simply be intimidated and not read your poem.
Which, I must say, would be a shame! You take your reader on a wonderfully vivid trip "down home", back through the bible belt. I must say, that this sounds like my ideal life! Though I suppose I feel a little more at home in the big city, I love this kind of people! (I *am*, after all, a southern baptist
)
You use some wonderful figures of speech here, and wrap this poem through with beautiful imagery. Call me blown away!
Well done, and best wishes!
Zach Estel. -
Excellent
A very creative and well written piece. So very masterfully done. And so truly deserving of the gold
-
So worthy of the gold!
You have done justice to your "neck of the woods" There is so much great imagery and emotion in this write. I could see the area you described so well. Thank you for sharing
-
awesome
Congrats on your trophy of Gold my friend.
Your words touched deep and took me away with such beautiful visuals penned within your write.
The journey... beautiful...and so well expressed!
This wonderful write is so deserving of the Gold and I wish you well with your writings, such a pleasure to read, thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Much love and happiness I send to you,
Your AP friend,
Anne
-
Our "necks of the woods" aren't that much different except for the everpresent petrochemical industries that hold us and Mother nature hostage here. Your verse, as always, is "spot on" and seemingly, these days, that voice in the wilderness that beckons me to a "kinder, gentler past". Best wishes in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
-
I get it!!! It's all so very wonderfull!!! I just loved every line!!!!
-
Very fine beautiful poem
60 years ago I used to listen to the original of this song on a 78 phonograph record. On the label it was called "Old Folks At Home" and was said to be by Stephen Foster.
I like your version better. It is a better poem (I think). Is there a "the" overlooked here? "when that whisper drifts in from [the?] coast."
-
It's about time to give joy a standing ovation!
You capture it well, your sense of home,
and lead us on in lilting manner!!!!
Every line creates an image, a sound,
a down home perception!
Superb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M-C
-
-
Thank You Ellis
... and you're right and I stand corrected and so I corrected it! Always nice to have those extra pair of eyes around.
-
-
I really got swept along with the flow of this and was transported to another world for a while. I must say I enjoyed the experience!
Bill
-
-
My neck ... of the woods!
Thanks for reading about my world and for enjoying what I shared!
-
-
This is how Legend sees America. We all have these preconceived notions of areas we know more about from an anecdotal way than from first hand knowledge.
I too have seen the south like this, part of it...through books (mainly) and movies.
What a delight this poem is, not just the meter but the poem itself, the storyline, etc.
Thank you, this was a pleasure to read.
-
-
Good Afternoon ...
and I'm glad to stop in to find that your read and comprehended what I shared. Thank you for all that you share with me in comments as you offer me a good sounding board! j
y
-
-
Welcome.
-
-
-
What a place this seems As an English man this is how i imagine America ( though i know its not, so its nice to know that there is somewhare like that) A excellent piece and the pleasure of reading it is all mine Thank you Good luck in the contest
-
-
Thanks for wizzing in ...
and where I live has a lot more pluses than minuses but it beats the dickens out of a hot, overcrowded, polluted city! Your comments are always genuinely appreciated as well! joy
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
