It began with a promise
Followed by a dream
It was sealed with a ring
Forever as a team
Down on one knee
I offered you the world
Asking for your hand
All emotions unfurled
A single moment passed
Answering with a "yes"
Tears streaming down our faces
Never thought we'd second guess
Surrounded by perfection
Couldn't ask for more
World turned upside down
Nothing like before
Changes occurring faster
Than the blink of an eye
Instead of basking in happiness
All we did was cry
I promised you we'd make it
Now look at where we are
It's hard to keep that promise
When the distance is so far
That doesn't mean I've given up
Or that I won't try
I can still live for us
And for you I will die
Beginning with those words
We set a day to vow
Inevitable is time
That day happens to be now
I woke up early this morning
Hoping to see your face
Forgetting for a moment
Each in a different place
As my tears began to roll
While unable to feel my breath
Unaware of this place and feeling
Wondering if it was death
While enclosed in darkness and despair
A large box lie on the floor
Labeled only with the date
And the eagerness to explore
Just as I had feared
Filled with my promise broken
Ripping at my heart
All my words unspoken
Pulling out all the contents
Surrounding myself with them
Each piece holds importance
Each it's own gem
This day was to end with a garder
Setting our whole theme
Interlocking hearts
Proving more than just a dream
Toasting our love with these glasses
One for him and one for her
Crystal clear just like this promise
Crystal clear just like we were
Encircling my left finger
Promising you'd always care
This ring still fits just as perfect
As the day you placed it there
Diamonds and saphires
Surrounding a perfect cut
This flawless diamond marquise
Says we could have made it past the rut
Perfect karats we couldn't afford
If it wasn't for a sign
I guess that 3000 dollar gift card
Must have been misread at the time
This pillow and this basket
Helping to set the stage
With the purity of forever
Since the day we got engaged
But it all would've begun with a dress
The one I'm wearing as I write
Daily collecting dust
Waiting for Mr. Right
Fitting perfectly around my ribs
Around my waist and around my hips
Could've eagerly been in front of you
Waiting for your lips
Unfortunately all it witnesses
Is me sitting on the ground
Makeup's running in the mirror
While 'almost promises' surround
while I may choose the dress
The dress chooses the groom
Unfortunately you're not present
In this cold and empty room
Imprinted is the name
Of the groom this dress has chosen
Jordan Citlau are the words
that will forever be frozen
Although I have the dress
the dress still waits for you
Forever loyal to this dress
So I'll be waiting too
I'll wait forever if I have to
because without you i feel dead
Inside this single box
Are the words I never said
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
-
Wow this is huge, this is very sweet and the proposel of the wedding day excellent. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful poem that is very nicely written.
-
Promise ... sing
Despite the potential this should be seen as a first draft with a few typos (despair not dispair and sapphire rather than saphire) there appear several areas where the poem could be tweaked enhancing rhythm without necessarily altering the initial intentions
for example one could imagine a variation for
Down on one knee
I offered you the world
Asking you for your hand
All emotions unfurled
as
Down upon one knee
I offered you the world
Asking for your hand
emotions all unfurled.
for
This day was to end with a garder
Setting our whole theme
Interlocking hearts
Proving more than jus a dream
I presume you meant just a dream, and am uncertain as to the meaning of garder.
hoping this is seen as constructive criticism
-
Aww!!!! This is very sweet. It really tells a story from the proposal to the actual wedding day. I like this part
"Beginning with those words
We set a day to vow
Inevitable is time
That day happens to be now"
Congrats too if this happens to be true,
I wish you both nothing but happiness from me to you ;-)
-
Hello
I just wanted to let you know I found this piece of work engaging and full of ponderous thoughts.....a lovely story & message inside -
I hope you are pleased, as I chose it for POW ( Poem of the Week ) on my Homepage.....and yes, of course, it is still copyrighted by you
I hope you don't mind, but I am going to add you as a Fav
Blessings,
Bear -
http://destinationpoetry.com/PO__Contest_Series.html
-
-
That's very sweet, thank you I'm glad you enjoyed the poem!!!
-
-
So beautifully you stated the gradual flow of the love and gradual flow of the feelings of it..wonderful poetry you did..and made me smile with your words..love it..well done...
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
