&@#@

Hey there &@#@ I like you
it's different than anyone before
I want to get to know you better I aint a hater
I want to get closer
as I run away from you
I want to get to be more than just a coworker
I want to be your friend if nothing more
I know you don't want the same
but I gotta let you know
I'm not ok
with the way my friends have treated you
that's why I no longer talk to them
I can tell you're better than any of them anyway
I aint looking for a roll in the hay
more to make some new friends
that's why I stay
I might be alittle dirty
but atleast I'm getting clean
my dirty old friends
will never see me again
I'm going insane not having anyone here to chill with
I don't want to go back
to the man who's only friends are crack heads and dealers
because that lifes wack
but this is supposed to be about you not that shit
I hope you don't through a fit
I just wanted to let you know how I feel
even though you might hate me
I hope some day you see the real me
the man behind the mask
the man nobody sees
locked away for so long
behind so much hurt and shame
for which I am only to blame
so many years faking a smile
so many moon lit nights
I've sat awake thinking about my own death
wishing it would come and take me out of this hurt filled place
feeling so dead and alone inside
I will not lie
I still feel this way
it's been so long
I've forgotten what it feels like to be happy and alive
I strive to take back my life
kicking out the hatred and strife
trying to make new friends
among which I want !@#$%^ and you
but this I know will never happen
as long as you be hatin me
I don't even know what I did
to make you hate me so
I don't care
I just want it to end
never call me a stupid crack head again
I know I used to be one
but not no more
don't tell me to smoke crack OD and die
it's never gonna happen
never will I use again
I hope it wasn't you
that sent that message I really do
if it was you truly are a heartless bitch
thinking you're better than everyone else
well your not
you might be hot
but not that hot
I still remember when they told you I'd killed myself
I still wonder why
you didn't come to me yourself
rather than going through someone else

that's enough of that
I'm done having shit said behind my back
if you or anyone has beef
say it to my face
or shut the fuck up