She painted fire upon the horizon.
The purple radiance smothered the sea,
That heaves ahead the spheres of the tired sun.
Its golden gateways slump behind the trees.
A copse of leaves, they rattle from the wind
Fragrance of withered plants flavour the air
This sepia scene critiques the wintry sin
That conquers dew to frost; strips branches bare.
The orange crested moon then climbs the skies
Making quiver the rosy tresses that
Are vexed in blue and rare indigo guise.
The animals silent as warmth attracts.
Pillars of light invade the glass fixtures
Alone with just the dust on furniture.
Author notes
This is a traditional Shakespearean sonnet. 14 lines ababcdcdefefgg in iambic pentameter. Most of us are familiar with this and it's something I've spent a lot of time doing. Meter may not be a hundred percent perfect but each line features more iambs than any other rhythmic measure.
A contest entry
- Sound of Autumn by crivanea.
400 points, ended August 1, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I loved it. You don't need no criticism. You don't need to revise it. Its perfect the way it is. Your wonderful at writing poetry. Two thumbs on that one. Keep going on your awesome poetry. Pretty just a WOW.
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thank you for giving me a form I know..I'm feeling quite stupid looking through all the poems in this contest that have forms I've never heard of 
a beautiful sonnet indeed..and congrat on making it a traditional one too! well written poet!
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This is a beautifully penned sonnet, Poet. Too many seem to overwrite these, due to the seeming "limitations" of the form. Not so, in your case. You have many crisp & luminous images overflowing in this piece. Good luck in the contest.
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Must be a Maretime provincial scene, which like the title, I've never seen.
"A copse of leaves, they rattle from the wind/Fragrance of withered plants flavour the air/This sepia scene critiques the wintry sin/That conquers dew to frost; strips branches bare/" I found this the best sounding part of the poem, as well as having, for me, the most interesting images. Though definately a deciduous landscape, for frosted eucalypts have no autumnal mode nor leaves falling seasonally.
Questions: shouldn't "flavour" be in the plural? Is it meant to be 'wintry sin', or wintry sun?
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Yup it is a Maritime scene. Fall in Nova Scotia is all I get to see. It should be flavours, it was flavours and I don't remember when I took that plural out. It is wintry sin and not wintry sun, wintry sun would deteroriate the rhyme. Thanks for the wonderful and well-thought out comment.
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