I watched you pull out the dusty dirt road
Not looking back to the love you just lost.
How could you, within our hearts, sadness sowed
And upon my face, your palm print embossed?
How drugs have changed you in this summer's June,
Where you imposed malice upon your brow
Putting fright in our child's happy tunes
Wondering where mommy's love once avowed.
I tried to show you with my love and pleas
That my heart and love understands your plights,
But I fell upon the ground to my knees
Holding close our child that shivered in fright.
And yonder down the mile you took a turn
And drove on, as if love for us you spurned...
Author notes
A classic sonnet form.
A contest entry
- Just Write by TwilightDazzles.
700 points, ended July 19, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Embodiment of Addiction by Patched Up Ragdoll.
900 points, ended July 31, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form Poetry --- II by rinzurajan.
700 points, ended November 1, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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a strong poem...gave out a lot of raw emotions...
good luck -
great poem i liked it a lot, thanx for the comments
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I cant tell you how much this moved me touched me way deep down took me to a dark place...this is excellent evoked emotion painted memories of what was you are a truly truly gited writer and I am honoured to read you
T
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this made me honestly want to cry.... its a pretty typical story, but your words and form made it much more than that... weaved a story of broken betrayal and salvaged redemption. beautiful.
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Once`Agin Spectacular
Good job brother, this is your sister on your computer and I think you are very creative. Nice job!!!! Thanks for letting me view
Later tater -
This is wonderfully written. The sadness in this piece is unbearable to me. Abandoning a child is unthinkable to me. This hits a personal chord. I enjoyed this piece thoroughly. Thanks for entering and best wishes
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mm
this is a great poem , there is so much here to think over.....did drugs change your love, why where you slapped across, because your pleading fell upon deaf ears...a very emotive and personal poem...well written.it draws the reader back again and again ........ a remarkable achievement....well done
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nice!!!
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