I found a pearl upon the shores,
awakening giants of scarlet hills,
echoing laughter of parting shrills,
the breeze' caress; whispering lores.
Dearest, for you are beauty of this land,
Your eyes speak volumes to my soul,
We Gallop up the grassy knoll,
Trotting through the crescent sand.
Your mane is as fine as angel hair,
I cant compare you to an-other mare.
Author notes
c h r i s t a l o n
A contest entry
- Rhyme My Deadened Heart Awake by piccola.
900 points, ended July 17, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PreWrites! by Menna.
700 points, ended July 29, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rounds....Auditions...PREWRITES by brokenheartedchild.
550 points, ended August 1, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites(: by ladybug..
625 points, ended July 29, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poems of Love and Marriage by XcPrincessB.
400 points, ended July 30, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - cheer me up, inspire me by Fay.
500 points, ended August 2, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES! by forbidden-colour.
400 points, ended August 10, 112 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think so far? Are you experiencing Kundalini Awakening? Feel free to collaborate with me if you are experiencing it yourself.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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"awakening giants of scarlet hills,"
The beauty of your first line is just adorned by this one, excellent follow up line and piece, I enjoyed reading.
Thank you for entering.
Sophie
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This is so beautiful and full of peace and calm, I love the first and last paragraph.
It is so awsome to find your mate so people don't have to bbe alone. Thank you for sharing -
I really like the rhyming. It's simplistic, but well thought out. I hate to say this, but I didn't understand much of it. I'm not advanced in the old english and even Shakespeare hurt my head last year. It sounds absolutely beautiful though. Thanks for sharing.
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I changed it from Elizabethan English to plain English lol. I found that there were mistakes in my poems so I changed them all for now, until I figure it all out.
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It sounds absolutely beautiful even now that I can understand it
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Good work....and that's a YES!
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This poem is really good the rhyme is simplistic yet so advanced it is really really good.....however i cant give you a yes no answer until I see your name in your AN....I know it seems silly but I dont have many rules so really it shouldn't be hard to follow the few I do have.....
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I did it
Sorry, I dont understand how I missed that. thanks for bringing it to my attention instead of DQ
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This is very gorgeous.
Great Job, good luck!
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Pretty pretty.
Loved this write,
Thanks for entering darling,
Good luck <3 -
I really like the rhyme here.
thanks for entering,
good luck in my contest. -
This is a fantastic poem, and I particularly like the use of old english. So often it is used very badly, but this is wonderful.
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Thank you. I love the use of old english and a lot of my future poems will be written in this way; especially sonnets.
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I'll be keeping an eye out.
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I see the potential...
The problem with getting close to a rhyme and meter is it sounds like a bad rhyme and meter. Free from rhyme and meter and you have nothing to compare it to. I would like to read the revised poem when you are finished. Keep writing.
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try iambic pentameter ... and abab I think it will make a natural S. Sonnet. Thank you for entering.
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Thank you piccola. I will write it in iambic pentameter, because I too think it would make a great S.Sonnet. I love Shakespear. Edgar Allen Poe is another favorite of mine. Thank you for the bronze. Blessed be you.
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Replaced Trollop with 'Trotting'
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thank you very much.
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this is
cool and peaceful
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