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Autumnal Sigh

 

 

 

The Autumn mist lay all around
a scene transformed before the eye
the morning dew conceals the sound
Autumnal Sigh

The earth was parched by Summer sun
crisp golden leaves float down and die
to lie in piles which burst with fun
Autumnal sigh

The cooling breeze will shake the trees
a wealth of birdsong floats on high
and lazy buzzing of the bees
Autumnal sigh

The gentle sound of Autumn rain
patter of feet that scurry by
trickle of water down the drain
Autumnal sigh

The murmur of a swollen stream
a rutting stag shrieks out his cry
reality becomes a dream
Autumnal sigh

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt ... Sound Of Autumn.

A Sapphic Ode (Pope Style)
Four metrical feet in each of three lines followed by a four of five syllable punchline. Rhyme isn't necessary, but optional.
Rhyme scheme used ...
abab cbcb dbdb ebeb fbfb.
Syllable count 8,8,8,4.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • hawkeslake gold member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    Marvelous! I love the form, and it is crafted so well. We just had our first snow (!) but the trees here still have their leaves; I'm hoping that we still have a few weeks of autumn left. This made me sigh, along with your summing line. Lita


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      October 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much Lita for reading my poem, as you can probably tell, Autumn is my favourite season ... your first snow is early this year?

      Sue


  • Nickelspring gold member
    August 21

    Edit | Reply
    So glad to see a trophy on this beauty!! Oh, the flow, the feel- this one is perhaps my favorite... Just excellent.
    K


  • crivanea silver member
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful....I'm quite speechless...what a lovely form! thank you for teaching me something new..and you did such a wonderful depiction of autumn sound...beautifully written poet

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      August 1
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the trophy and the lovely comment. This was a good contest to write for and I enjoyed the challenge of writing about one of the senses.

      Sue


  • Ellis gold member
    July 31
    Edit | Reply

    Like this

    I was not familiar with this form. Enjoyable read.


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    July 18

    Edit | Reply

    Oh, my!

    I turn my back on this place and you just get better and better.
    This is a fine idea that you made work so beautifully
    Congratulations, Sue.
    And good luck in the contest.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      July 19
      Edit | Reply
      It's great to see you here and thank you for the lovely comment.

      Sue
      x

  • Bad Bill
    July 18

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    I love the way you pen your ode,
    and see perfection in each line.
    You journey down a poet's road
    I wish were mine.

    Your "gentle sound of Autumn rain"
    and other phrases so divine,
    are samples that (I'll make it plain)
    I wish were mine.

    Excellent work, poet!

    Bill

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      July 19
      Edit | Reply
      What can I say, but 'Thank You' Bill
      your words I'll always hold so dear,
      to read your comment is a thrill
      dispelling fear.

      Sue
      x


  • Legend silver member
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    We have yet to get a summer here in Britain but already you have me(through your words) waiting for Autumn
    Excellent form, Excellent poetry


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      July 19
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Richard, I'm sorry to be hastening the seasons along ... but don't you just love Autumn?

      Sue
      x


  • arafura gold member
    July 17
    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic! Technically great... creatively beautiful.


  • Ceridwens Soul silver member
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful write my twin - ack it be Autumn you knew you'd win me with that. You do the Jeff Sapphic so well, and having the ardonic as a refrain just gives it so much punch.

    Nicely done Sis

    hugs

    Jem

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      July 19
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Sis, yes, I knew I'd win you over with a touch of Autumn ... we both love that time of year so much.

      Sue


  • cricketjeff gold member
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    I love the form, a sapphic with a refrain, wonderful. Your meter and rhyme are of course perfect. And no-one else does Autumn the way you do

    Great work

    Jeff


  • tinadawn
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is beautiful. I adore autumn and Halloween and this makes me feel like I am there

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your kind words, I'm so glad that you enjoyed my poem, Autumn is my favourite time of the year.

      Sue

1 - 21 of 21