Two baby girls all full of hope
Pimpish bad-boys dealing dope
The wonder of Christmas and Santa's sack
Sad brutish violence;sad, sad smack.
Old known paths and mushroom fields
Killing and rape and no-one who cares
Tennis and kindness, and stock-market yields
The Cross stands by a Council-block;
and London's thorns it wears.
Author notes
There are such chasms within society. I wanted to contrast life=styles.
Say something!
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Wow! this is quiet the contrasting poem you have here, two sides of a tale. The good and the evil. Leaves me thinking about how long life goes on, and how it all depends on the a person's perspective of what he or she wants to see, its sad nevertheless.. the fight between good and evil will keep going on for as long as God lives the devil plays ...
Great rhyme scheme and definietely a very different and brilliant piece!
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Thank you so much
It comes across as good and evil - but my feeling is that it is largely fixable, by governments following sensible policies, one of which, I believe, has to be creating a society where the diffences between rich and poor are less marked. I have dealt with God and Satan, in a poem of that name, tho' it's a bit silly.
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"Evil is evil no matter what suit it wears, or how it combs its hair." Just how this verse hit me, contrasting styles, and times, a crime is a crime, is a crime, and all crimes do damage and deserve punishment. Can't believe how so few words brought about this response, but it is refreshing to read poetry that does not bury itself in obscurity. Guess I'll have to come back and read more.
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Flattered, or what!
Thank you so much. I am glad you have enjoyed. I hate obscurity, and wrote a poem on the subject - do not be deceived by the title. I do see, tho', that very often what we write, we really suppose is a lucid as could be, whereas -well, it isn't.
E
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for the joys in life are so squelched as our young become infested with the worlds ways.. and who is to blame but the life they now lead upon the pain and suffering now seen, so much truth in your words hun thanks for sharing hugs Always Angel♥♥
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Thank you....
...I could just about bring myself to address you as 'Angel', but despite your touching comment --what did I see ? Hun! To an Englishman of a certain generation, it means the enemy, the Nazis! More to the point, should you have contact with one of the handful of Germans... well, you get the point!
E
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Very good Write
Hey m8 gd bloody right love the comparision although lol at the ling "Old known paths and mushroom fields" i thought we were doing negitive hahah lol damn stoner lol anywho all up mate good write
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There are so many chasms...who can't point the way? Yeah, so much pain in this world but there's the good news that people are still standing up, reaching out to others and having the heart to prefer good over evil (especially through writing that allows the kind of expressive presentation as you've done here).
AsIThink...
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Thank you...
...for commenting etc.
Mostly I like to concentrate on the joyful, but the inequalities in society seem so gross, and other societies seem to run things better, so I am not hankering after a Utopian dream. Holland and the Scandinavian countries seem far better organised. Perhaps it is living in a vast metropolis - no green fields for the inner London schools, a great deal of overcrowding, until you get right to the highly expensive, very pleasant centre.
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condor
I am glad you got something from it -in fact, all that I was trying to say. London is very cheek-by-jowl, but it is where the leafy suburbs begin that one has the strongest sense of the unfairness. There, nice good-sized gardens, and schools with plenty of green for sport and so on, parents who are devoted to their children, educated, trying to make nice people out of their kids, and all. Elsewhere, the parents, if any, lead chaotic lives, the children learn early to be street-wise, and their education is more like baby-minding.
I speak as someone who once crossed over to avoid an ugly looking knot of youths, only to realise that one of them was my son, and some others his friends! One can over-do these perceptions! -
This is really really good and shows a contrasts that we'd hope would have been wiped out today. It is really sad that some people live their lives insqualor and fear and pain from the heart and physically and noone hears their cries. It is also sad that some people grow up so provided for and priviledged that they do not understand this pain and neither care and live like everyone else owed them. I loved this piece for the simple reason that you were able to maintain a very distinct line between the two in both verses, and it read beautifully with great flow, rhythm, and rhyme. Thank you so much for sharing.
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Wow what an amazing run of thoughts
very profound
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Ta!
I wanted to paint the happy and unhappy, side by side. I felt I could have done much better, so v glad that you got something from it. Thanks again for commenting.
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I often think 'There but for the grace of God and a bit of good luck go I'.
Who knows how we would have turned out with different parents different life styles. Children are not born evil nor are they born knowing right from wrong.
We speak of an 'underclass refer to them as feral children, they don't stand a chance.
I don't know the answers and I don't like my own thoughts on the subject at times
thought provoking read.
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Pattiboo
Could not agree more. I don't like running into oafish thugs, but I hate references like those you mention, or to 'sink estates'. What child wants to know that that is where they live? Or barely noticeable things. When some bad thing happens north of the river, here in London, the area is named alone, say, Hoxton or Camden. If it occurs south of the river, then it will happen in S London, or ,say, Norwood, South London. Why the media should do this, I do not know, but it is not helpful.
Edward
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good
well said poet. good job. -
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Thank you kindly ma'am! Glad you liked it.
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oh wow this is profoundly good full of stark reality
bravo
T
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Thanks.....
It is the unfairness of it that strikes me so much. Of course, I don't want to drag anybody down; I want that the poor and the uneducated be brought uo to that same level. It sounds a bit dreamy, and it will remain that way until the major parties here adopt it as a vision.
TC
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Definitely shows the extremes it its alternating lines. Though being a cynic, I might find the "stock-market yield" to be yet another negative not a positive.
Sad hope indeed. I fear it's the price of existence and there isn't a lot we can do, other than to grin and bear it...or if you prefer to rattle some chains, "grin and bare it."
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Yemassee
I am glad you enjoyed it, if that is the word. I was envisaging a househol in which the children grew up perfectly safely and happily, to be nice mananimous people in the future. The poor - I really mean the underclass, not only suffer from being deprived of a happy chidlhood, they also grow up to be mean-minded. As for stock-markets, well, I rejoiced when one opened in Moscow -- and I speak as one who had had to wade through pages and pages of tripe in the old 'Pravda'. What had seemed impossible, had come true: so I do believe in hope for the future.
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go my mate
this is a great politico/socio statement.....all neatly wrapped up in a great poem written with passion..cheers my mate
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Well you came by and commented mine so I had to yours. I am glad you write even if it is mainly for yourself. I enjoyed reading this and the rhyme is good. I always love a good rhyme
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I am happy to say that I have never been close to or seen any of the things you describe here, except on TV But I know it is here and out there, especially on the beaches at night. and with TV becoming big brother now, how can any parent give guidence to excues that. I just complained to my MP about outright full blown sex on afternoon Telly. This is what your little babes are exposed to... right now, there in their home, an act the parent would never show. Sad how leafy lanes and dark corners are now places to avoid.
Yes It takes all sorts to make a rape, the stock market being second to none.
your two last lines speak volumes. the whole being very thought provoking.
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The last two lines really resonated with me and I'm not sure why. You seem to be giving this write a historical background here. It does seem like things have not improved to say the least. We had a problem lately with crack cocaine, right in the building where I live, and I am told by long time tenants (50 years!) that it used to be quite a high class building and the super would bring bread and milk to each apartment and leave them in an alcove provided for that purpose. It does seem that no one cares as you say and the level of rudeness and profanity are on the increase. And lack of integrity and so on.
Or else I'm turning into an old lady! Anyway, your write is well expressed and I enjoyed it.
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Now is the abomination of desolation in the holy place!
And then, there is thedarkness that walketh at noon-day!
Seriously, I have lately been struck by the unhappy lives of those who make life miserable for the rest of us. Occasionally, I will see on the fringes of some big bad group, some children looking on with frightened eyes. And the biggest and baddest are no different. Then there are quiet, leafy, areas, or people growing up in the country with kind ,thoughtful and loving parents. There is so much unfairness. I wish I could have done the whole thing justice.
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I think it happens in the country too, though it's a dream we might have that it doesn't! At any rate, it happens in small towns. A little girl was nurdered not long ago in a small place near here. From what I hear, the town is riddled with drugs and it seems to me there is a connection between heavy drug use and violent acts.
Never thought I would feel this way; I remember pot at parties and nights on the town!
Take care, have a sherry.
Judith -
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Maybe not all going to pot...
I wonder if I mentioned to you that there exists a hieroglyph text, which is a letter, from a scribe to his friend. He says he is sorry to say that he saw the son of his friend (to whom he is writing), being sick over a wall, in the company of some rough soldiers. He finishes by adding: 'things were never like this when we were young, studying to be scribes. We just attended to our studies..' So it seems things have been going downhill for a least 3000 years! Then 2000 years ago, the Roman felt obliged to say 'O tempora, o mores...' I daresay the children of to-day will have rosy recollections of these times, whilst bemoaning the behaviour of the youth of their riper years.
Just thought I would add a bit of balance, as I started it!
Pip-pip
Edward
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Sounds a lot like Bridgend.
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I see where you are going with the message - juxtaposition of stark contrast. The second stanza rhythm felt a little off to me - I know how you are a stickler for that - the last two lines especially.
Would your meaning be preserved if it read similiar to this:
Old known paths and mushroom fields
Killing and rape and no-one who mournes
Tennis and kindness, and stock-market yields
While the Council-block Cross wears London's thorns.
or:
Old known paths and mushroom fields
Tennis and kindness, and stock-market yields
Killing and rape and no-one who mournes
The Council-block Cross wears London's thorns.
Just a thought. Anyway - neat read.
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Nangaleema
Thank you for dropping by, and clever insights. Either one of your versions is better, but I feel that there must be a yet better one -- and have thought so since I wrote it! I think I am sooner or later going to have a general recall, as they do with cars, when they find some design-fault, and put the lot through a bright new poetic washing-machine. -
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I like Nangleema's second revision, and suggest "wearing" instead of "wears" in the last line of it. That said, I agree that we all grow into the view that the world is going downhill around us. Every generation feels as if the young arrogants are so much more disrespectful or malignant than they (the older generation) were at that age. But it's all a mix and every generation has its share of good and bad, every class and caste as well. It's difficult to put such broad concepts into the brevity of two stanzas, and the duality presented is quite a simplification of the complexities at hand, but thanks for trying.
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Pyropoetic
The thing is, that were I a painter, the picture I should paint would be divided in two by a horizontal line, half-way up. Above would be depicted a modern Garden of Eden, or nearly so
leasant lawns, happy people conversing and playing croquet, amid a back-ground of blooms, under the lightest and sunniest of skies, perhaps a punt drawn up from a creek, or a watery scene somewhere. Below, it would be so dark one could barely make out the figures, but when one did, one would discover hateful faces, and hateful acts being committed, like Goya, or Hogarth even: nothing nice, unrelieved gloom,, violence and fear.
I am not so arrogant as to suppose that people in general need to have their eyes opened by me; they know what the world is like. But I see no reason why it absolutely has to be that way, and hope that others will fight the good fight. The trouble with the poem was a) it was written sloppily and in haste ; and
it should have been a little longer, contrary to my general belief. I hope I do not come across as being up my own arse. It is only a pastime!
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