Lying here in bed I just can’t seem fall asleep,
I’m thinking about something but I don’t know what,
I’m out of answers and that is annoying to me,
I’m not satisfied with the fact of not knowing.
Will my answers keep me safe?
No they won’t because you don’t got any,
I can’t face the fact that I’m losing the game because I’m blank,
I want to know the truth but all there is, is a lie.
I love my girlfriend but the fact that I’m not with her now frightens me,
Not because I think that she’s cheating on me but because I can’t protect her,
Maybe I’m thinking about her and that’s the reason why I can’t fall asleep,
Or could it be something else – let us search deeper into my mind.
Creepy things like assault by the police and blood cloth’s have hit me by the years,
Still I’m standing strong beyond the fact that I’ve died 3 times in my life,
I have a thing called post traumatic stress syndrome and the room here is quite dark,
Maybe that’s the reason why I can’t fall asleep but let us take an even closer look,
At my crumbled mind.
Negative thoughts isn’t dominating my mind but that’s just after the assault took place,
I had in my life been very negative and yet positive outwards,
I know for a fact that’s why I have the post traumatic stress syndrome,
But I still don’t think that’s the reason why I can’t sleep –
So let us just go deeper into my head and see what’s in there.
The only thing where I aren’t satisfied with myself is my muscles size,
Still I don’t work out often but it happens every now and then –
When I’m in my right mod and when my energy is high as it is now,
The problem and there we got it,
Is that I have to get some sleep but my energy is to high –
I’m to overtired.
what do you mean about this poem?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Line 9: Doesn't make sense
Line 14: Change to blood cloth's to bloddy clothes
I liked it it was a little shorter than your other one I read.
You had to mistakes much better than the others I've read. The poem had one problem and that was the fact you couldn't fall asleep but you added to much info on why you couldn't fall asleep. Once again your peom ddin't rhyme even tho peoms don't have to rhyme but most poems that are a sucess indeed rhyme. It also didn't really make sense
Hope I helpe -
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hi
The fact that you don't like my poems because they don't rhyme is okay.. i write the way i does and if it is poems or not i write them anyway.. these writings is my speaking tube.. it is in this way i clarify my thought's and express them to the outer world.. the fact that some people don't like them because they aren't rhyming, that is what that is.. it's really not my target to make people love my writings but to read and understand my writings..
and thank you for correcting me - i'm danish and didn't follow up, in the english lessons..
and yes i did get bloddy clothes, but i did also get to blood cloth's in the brain..
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that was so confusing !!
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your poems are hard and difficult
i again dont understand
Negative thoughts isn’t dominating my mind but that’s just after the assault took place,
I had in my life been very negative and yet positive outwards,
I know for a fact that’s why I have the post traumatic stress syndrome,
But I still don’t think that’s the reason why I can’t sleep –
So let us just go deeper into my head and see what’s in there.
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alright
may need rivision. kind of a jumbles mess at the end -
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okay.. hmm.. could you tell me what there is messy at the end? i just can't se it.. sorry
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