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Just Ask Me How It Feels

I am the child with the face lit up - 
I am each arm cupped around her, grinning
From beyond vast corridors,
And plump women 
Who gather on dark mornings
Stiff with the smell of lilies, perhaps.


I am the child with the small black hat,
I am suddenly pale and I am flat; uncertain,
Steering through the rabble of bodies and curtains,
The burnt-oak coffin, and the stems that collapse
When I stroke them, 
And reach out to mother still - 


Just ask me how it feels.





Author notes

This was definately a hard one to write about,
but the prompt triggered these thoughts.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • parenchma
    August 7

    Edit | Reply
    You certainly painted vivid memories here. I went to a funeral a couple of weeks ago "Goodbye Ann" don't remember which site... She was 56 a nurse spent 8 months in hospital. Her daughters are dark and beautiful; reminds me of your picture quite a bit. 2 of them are nurses, 26, and 23. The 23 year old is coming to England to work a couple of years and see Europe. They hugged me, every time I was near. They loved my father; his farm in Arkansas was a favorite weekend spot for their family, too. I have 28 and 23 year old sons who turn up their noses at them from the childhood memories of them. They were precocious and home schooled and know it alls...I got tripped up by them a time or two identifying wild birds and plants! The youngest of the daughters, made eye contact only once and moved away from me. I think she was 18. Maybe I scared her back then, or something... I didn't know to be careful with people. It was more important to be outrageous and funny. Tell me how you feel, if you want to.


  • ea silver member
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm, this gave me a sense of how intimidating grief can be and perhaps the put down of being around adults who somehow "come first" in these situations. Not sure if you mean the speaker lost their mother or if it was their mother they reached out to in grief (at a funeral.)


    • Lillianna
      July 17
      Edit | Reply

      Thank You

      Thank You for such kind comments ea,
      I was the child in this one, and the person who passed away, my mother.