the train

I wake up to the shaking of my room from the train passing. It passes by every morning at six o'clock sharp. The bastard never stops. Everyday it runs my mind goes a little more insane. Its like the annoying little alarm clock that doesnt have a shut off button. (unless of course you count the slim chance it might be de-railed or a bomb thrown into its annoying little engine.) Im awake now though, so i might as well get ready for work. My husband is already gone. He leaves every morning at four, and comes home at ten. How he keeps it up i will never know. He works as a bus driver. He has to commute ridiculously far or else he would still be here snoring away in his snoopy boxers and hogging all the blankets.
When i get to work my stupid boss is already throwing out the stupid sex jokes, and making a total ass of himself. I swear to god, if i had nothing to live for i would take out everyone in this office except for charles, my halarious gay cubicle mate. Sometimes hes the only thing that keeps me working here.
As i am typing up the lastest get rich quick scheme they are throwing into the paper my phone rings. I automatically assume its my husband Griffin,  so answer it before it rings even twice.
"hello honey!!!" i shout in my most singsongy voice.
"um.. hello? is this Mrs. JourNie Petersen?" asks a husky voice"
"um,. yes. this is she. Who is this?"
"this is officer edwards from the police department.."
"oh hello officer... may i ask the point of your call?"
"mrs. petersen.. i dont know how to say this... but.. your husband Griffin... Hes...hes dead....."
I cant even breath. this has to be a joke... this must be a joke.. Its a prank call. There is no way hes gone... Its not possible...
"he died this morning around 6:25... His bus was crossing the train tracks.... i guess the engine died... He helped everyone get off the bus, because he knew there was a train coming.. we dont really know the full details yet, but he must have been delayed, or gotten stuck, because when the train hit... he was still on the bus......im so sorry..."
no. no no no no no. no. not this way. Not by that goddamned train. no. no.  This cant be happening... my griffin.. no..
"mrs. petersen? are you there?"
I sobbed loudly into the phone. shock setting in i couldnt breath. I was hyperventilating. Charles noticed my panic attack and came over and took the phone. After speaking with the detective his eyes opened wide. He must have got the news. He thanked the officer, and gave him his personal number for a contact, so i wouldnt have to deal with it. As he hung up the phone, he eased me out of my chair, picked me up, and walked out of the office. Setting me down in his car, he told me to breath. he was here. he would help me through this. I couldnt hear. I didnt care. My griffin was.. gone.
He drove me home, and set me down on my bed in the apartment, tucking me in he asked if i would be alright.
I nodded, not really listening, just knowing thats what he needed to see.
He told me he would be right back and ran out.
I rose slowly from the bed, opened the door and walked out, not bothering to close it. it didnt matter anymore anyway.
I walked across the street to the convinient little bar, sat down and ordered a glass of straight wiskey. downed it as quickly as possible, and ordered another.
Some bitch was eying my two seats away. I gave her a cold glare and slammed down another drink. she got up and walked over to me. "whats with the bitchy look?" she sneered down at me. "fuck off" i mumbled, as i turned back to my drink she pushed me hard into the bar. I snapped. I lost all control over myself. I got up, turned around and punched her full on in the face. She teetered then reared up to punch me back. I elbowed her in the gut, punched her in the side, and slammed her face into the solid wood bar. She was out before she hit the ground. her face covered in blood, i could hear the bartender screaming at me. I wasnt listening. I sat back down and downed one last drink and walked out. it was raining outside. someones red umbrella was laying by the door. ( presumably the property of the woman i had just knocked unconcious..) i grabbed it, and walked into the pouring rain. I started walking toward the train tracks. i could hear him. My griffin.  He was calling me. I could see him standing next to me. I opened the umbrella so he wouldnt get wet. "baby, where are you going?" he asked. "Im going to see the train sweety" i told him. I was uncontrollably happy at seeing his big brown eyes. "lets go see the train together sweet heart."he whispered to me. We walked to the tracks of the train together. There are two trains. One that goes past my apartment, and one that goes the other way a bit past it. We were heading for the latter. We got to the station. You could see the ground rumbling. There was another train coming. Fast. "lets lay on the tracks love." said griffin. Something inside me said that was a crazy idea, but the part looking at griffin hopped onto the tracks and layed down. Staring at the sky. Griffin lay next to me. The train was getting closer and closer. I wasnt concerned. I was laying with griffin. It didnt matter."i love you griffin." i whispered. there was no answer. I looked over. he wasnt there... I looked up.. and there was the train. It went black.. I felt freedom. But something wasnt right. I was cold..
I smelt sweet cologne...
I woke up.
It was all a dream...
Griffin was laying right next to me. Snoring. in his snoopy boxers. hogging all the blankets. Tears of relief welled in my eyes. I lay on his chest and breathed in his smell. I wasnt going to work today. And niether was he.