Courses unknown...
I find myself as riser to your flight;
as obvious in abstract.
But limits are a bore brought to extreme.
And you, your climates declare war;
witness my shiftings
and spy them as whores;
Our obligations are torn
like envelopes licked too wet,
their seals forsaken in sides
vulnerable to rent.
My canopy... you deny wide holes
while expanding on the tears set
as drops to canvas
within this chaos I call home.
I can not empty anymore.
My stem stands drained, filtered...
commands redirection.
And those stairs that I climbed upon,
those steep in expectations...
Will from now on be in echo
of nurtured step
of promise kept.
For my feet grow wary
of unseen sentiment, of risen sun.
So tongue stills, lips keep quiet
amidst the riot of your agenda.
But the wonder persists...
lays it's curiousity
upon peeled pane 'neath dawn's kiss;
Were I just a shadow seen as quarry;
Might your heart be stone to rim?
Once more circlin' red ignited.
Author notes
prompt: "the masking of intent was blatant-shaded not your identity,
but my right to know. who dare to command my heart in rendered
still image?" From 'Never Yours'"
Image Credit: "Expired Treppen Haus" by Udo Lehmann
In a list
A contest entry
- Quote Prompts II by Hetha.
1100 points, ended July 19, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - enough mooshy love crap-give me real, raw, honest...that'll make me happy. by JinSays.
706 points, ended November 22, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I cant help but think I've been down this road before. I have stood in many thresholds like this, as a matter of fact. This is heavy Blue, it goes low and it hits real hard, but you dont feel like you're blaming the other person-just that the pain is enough only for you, and no more. Is that silly? Powerful. When its needed the most, you have no problem delivering, excellent darling.
love,
jin -
Brilliant surrealist piece here, you do these so well my friend
C
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Another gold and no surprise at all. Wow.
"And those stairs that I climbed upon,
those steep in expectations...
Will from now on be in echo
of nurtured step
of promise kept."
Here is where I just said - "Hell Yeah!" Such power in these words. The entire verse breathes release, breaths strength and power. Very well done. ~Pamela
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This amazes beyond words. Congratulations on the Gold.
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STANDING OVATION!!
Wow! That was incredibly emotional and full of double meanings. As per usual you take me on a journey that I am disappointed to return from as I face the reality of the mundane at the completion of your intricate 'journey of words'.
Blessed be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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Amazing writing. I love the stairway metaphor and the way you literally climb it throughout the piece. As always, great phrasing and stirring images, the last half of the poem is my favorite, but the first half is only a fraction behind it and no less grand. Good luck with the contest.
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I am so honored and pleased, that you took the time to write for my contest, and that you chose this prompt. You truly took it into a direction I would have never anticipated, and floored me, completely.
This is a very good thing. I could feel the heavy weight, of "a riser to your flight." Felt the emptied, silent repose of,"I can not empty anymore.
My stem stands drained, filtered...
commands redirection."
You carried the audience along in your theme, with"And those stairs that I climbed upon,
those steep in expectations...
Will from now on be in echo
of nurtured step
of promise kept." -it strengthens the foothold of the "riser", making it seem so much more weighty and hurtful.
You carried the pang to my heart with"For my feet grow wary
of unseen sentiment, of risen sun.
So tongue stills, lips keep quiet
amidst the riot of your agenda."
Then, bam, tear to my eyes came when you included:
"Were I just a shadow seen as quarry;
Might your heart be stone to rim?"
And this wonderful picture you chose, just added to this piece. I felt like a ghost, haunting the corridors of my past, while reading and viewing this.
You truly are a gifted writer. I felt this intuitively, figuratively and emotionally all at once. Again, I thank you for this.
~Hettie
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I love - simply LOVE that image.
I cannot wait to see what you write.
I will be back. WOW
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I actually have plans on contacting the creator
and seeing if they would be interested in having
their art adorn my book of poetry entitled:
"Beyond the Blue Pane"...I am happy that it affects.
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