A wedding day filled with promise
Our lives beginning as one
If only I had known
That for me hell had just begun
It started with the smaller things
Like dinner not done exactly at six
Or a towel out of place in the bathroom
And appliances needing to be fixed
A couple of beers with your buddies
And several more after you get home
You take everything you want from me
As I beg you to leave me alone
One look can send me running
Cowering in the corner like a child
Belt dangling in your hand
Punishment is far from mild
I hate you for all of the bruises
I hate you for my controlled life
I hate you for saying you love me but most of all
I hate myself for becoming your wife
Author notes
Written March 24th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- LOVE or HATE: From 1 Drastic to the Next by yoursbyperil.
300 points, ended March 25, 2004, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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This takes it to a whole new level. I don't find many people write about their abusive spouses. You put your whole heart into this write and show us the littlest of detail like the misplaced towel and dinner time. Those little things can really get your nerves working, esp. since these things really affected the writer herself. Emotional poem. The last stanza really struck home.
Thanks for your entry.
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The first few lines are my own story as well...
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Jeez whisper I am sorry...That is right let it all out..The poem is great...I like it a lot even though it is really sad..You have such talent...HEY Send me some..LOL Wonderful write..I enjoyed it very much...I hope it all works out of you..best of luck
Much love
Bambie -
Wow. This is very cruel. Im sorry you had to go through that, it must have been horrible. I probably couldn't even imagine. I was so into the poem, i didn't realize it was rhyming until the end
Then again, doesnt it feel good now that you let it out of you system, or does it just bring back painful memories. IM sorry, nice write, keep up the wonderful work.
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This is an awesome write, I'm so sorry you had to have the heart break of thinking someone was perfectly right for you, and then having everything getting messed up after marriage, makes you think about relationships when your young, you really do not know who is right for you, n you won't know till u spend a lot of time with that person. Amazing write, I can't say I relate, but I felt your emotion through every word, terrific!
Take care..
Steph
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Oh hon, I'm so sorry that you had to endure all this bullshit...men can really suck sometimes! I really liked the way this was written although I hated to read it about you...I thought the flow was very nice and I didn't notice if the rhyme was just a little off. You're very good at expressing your emotions.
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That was pretty kool. I say next guy that beats his woman and guzzles bear should for forced fed beer untill her vomits and then all over again untill her gets the point that you DO NOT beat your woman,love her,tickle her,hug her,but NEVER beat her. Weak ass alcholhol dependant pussys.
-J. -
Thank you very much. I'm a little confused, but that's nothing new. I hope all is well for you ...
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Very Very Good,,,,Just sitting here laughing, only because this hits so close to home,,,but just the opposite....Keep up the good work
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This is only the second time I have read a piece of your poetry . While I must say that I am impressed wth your writing style ( very expressive ) I cannot help but be abit concerned about the subject matter , as the first one I read dealt with the same . I will only refer you to reread the comment left by Blondita . She is a very smart lady ( I know )
and thx for commenting on my poem , it always means alot when someone has read and enjoyed ,
I wish you rainbows,
Reenie
Edited on Mar 30, 10:19 because 'typo'. -
Pretty good job if you're just starting out rhyming, and you chose a pretty tough subject - you might have just rather had the emotions flow out with the work of finding the rhyme. Home and alone is a little bit of a forced rhyme. the rhythm and flow is off just a little in a couple of places but probably only needs a word or two to correct. Good job. Have fun with the rhyming. Paul
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heartbreaking
wow. this is really sad. at first, i thought it was going to be happy, but it turned out otherwise. wow... i love this poem. its really my kind of poem. does your husband really do that? if so i am terribly sorry. no one diserves to be treated like that and you are no exception. keep up the beautiful work. -
Wowzerz, Great flow, and overall just a wonderful job. I love how every line just keeps you intacked this is a wonderful job and a great talent.
Keep up the wonderful work!
-Keep the faith-
-Howwy -
wow!that's really great!I'm sorry you have to feel that way
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A stinging and very caustic piece of poetry in terms of the emotion expressed. The frustration and anger are so evident.
People will only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. If the subject remains in this predicament - I hope she finds the strength to walk away...makes the choice to give herself a chance and finds a way to reclaim her dignity and self respect
~ sonia ~
Edited on Mar 29, 4:45 because ''. -
wouldnt be surprised if it was my mother writing this ..i read a bit of your other stuff, an come to the conclusion that if theres another person on AP im going to stalk the work of...its you...
-spanky- -
The pain and difficulty in this is well refelcted in the words... The smooth transition from each verse is excellent, and as said countless times, the last verse has great impact. A very thoughtful, provoking poem. Wonderful. *hugs*
XXX
Scarlet -
the intensity of this is staggering, you can feel from the start how its builds up and exposes the harsh realities of many marriages. the way you have written it is really smooth, the words flow brilliantly, the imagery is strong. in other words it is a very good poem, you are talented and i look forward to reading more of your poetry. keep it up
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Very powerful and intense. Nice job on the rhyming. The last stanza has alot of impact because suddenly the focus changes from the husband to the wife and because of the self-hatred that's revealed.
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a powerful write. the content rises far above the form of the poem in excellence at how it pulls emotions out of the reader, empathy, just really sucks the reader into your plight. good job!
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Whoa that is an awesome poem.. That reminds me of my childhood while growing up..
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Yikes... If what I just read was a true situation, I am so
sorry you had to go through that. I felt your pain and
anguish through your write. Your intense emotions drew me in.
Well written on a difficut subject matter.
::hugs:: Christine -
My heart aches everytime I read a poem like this. I am so sorry that you had to endure such pain. You did an awesome job with explaining the situation...and the emotions. The last stanza took my breath away! Awesome write, even though the subject matter isn't awesome. Good luck in the contest!
Peace and love
Susan
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GREAT flow in this piece... the rhyming was perfect and unforced, and the ending was thought provoking. Good luck & thanks for entering
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i bet i can name about five people who would totally agree with this write...very nicely done, you are getting the hang of rhyming, very cool...
keep up the AWESOME work, and thanks for sharing this...
God bless
-Stacy- -
WOW- beautiful, INTENSE poem... amazing write dearest... I am so sorry for what you had to go through... is this all true?
Stephi
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the poem was awesome. it really said a lot and you did a great job with the rhyme. yeah, i'm sick and tired and can't really articulate well right now so, just great job.
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