The holiday is over, I must leave
tomorrow morning. I know that, rising,
my thoughts will still be in your tempting bed,
recalling all those things we did and said.
My mutinous mind (it's not surprising)
will kick against the traces - I will grieve.
Perhaps through mutiny I'll come to see
how much your presence really means to me.
But do I have to go? What lies in store
back home that will not wait? I am burning
with desire - love's ache has me in its thrall;
a flaming passion over-riding all.
The more I think, the more my thoughts are turning
to staying here with love forever more.
Author notes
Hope I've got the butterfly sonnet form right.
A contest entry
- Introducing: The BearWoman Butterfly Sonnet by BearWoman.
4000 points, ended October 4, 2009, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Oh the romance xx I think I can just about remember it
This is a lovely butterfly sonnet. A difficult one to try and yours is excellent. Well done.
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I enjoyed the two sides to this, beautifully expressed with the couplet in the middle. So very nicely done
K
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Wonderful
Very creative and well expressed. A great use of the form. Best of luck in the contest.
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Very romantic
Just taking a quick peak for now (I plan to do the actual judging later). Wow! This is wonderful! Just what I hoped for. It looks like a well-balanced, form-standard full Butterfly Sonnet with strong meter to me.
I find your body stanza particularly engaging...
"Perhaps through mutiny I'll come to see
how much your presence really means to me."
So romantic. Can I take you home with me?
I'm glad I'll "have" to come back and read this again.
~Misha Bear
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Bill this is excellent and I am sure BearWoman will think so too.many will relate to your words here I am sure. ..Wow...mal
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