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Bear Hug-Eulogy

Your body may be gone but now I'm gonna carry you in......
in my head, in my heart, and in my soul

and maybe well get lucky and well both get to live again
well i miss you, and i hope so, but i don't really think so

I long for a time, a time well never have, to know each other
Even after you left, you still came, came to help me carry on

I'm so mad at you, mad at you for leaving when you did
But I love you, love you for sending others to hold my hand while your gone

So cool and so suave, to the point of no one even noticing you
Well I need you, I need you to know that I noticed you

Even after all this time, even after all these new faces and names
When i close my eyes I still see you, so cool and so suave

I need you to know that even though your not here, your not gone
because  I hold you in my head, in my heart, and in my soul

Even though your name is Jared you'll always be my Bear

Written By Beau Bennett for Amanda to "Bear"

first stanza taken from a Modest Mouse song "Ocean Breathes Salty"

Author notes

I have never met the person this poem is about but he meant a lot to a friend of mine and I have a flair for writing so I told her I'd write a poem from her perspective so she could say goodbye to him, let me know what you think of this idea or what i wrote

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    omg,Im literaly crying now,,,this is so empathetic, the simplicity of it, the way you give ownership to tangiable emotions is just well...im crying...enough said
    you my friend are a seriously awesome poet
    Bravo
    T


  • HereComesTheSun
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    Positive: The emotion was well written out and the flow was well done

    Fav line:
    So cool and so suave, to the point of no one even noticing you
    Well I need you, I need you to know that I noticed you     was just down to earth and reminded me of someone i know.

    Negative: you took a piece from another song; i find it okay to use as inspiration but to not use it as part as the poem, especially to start it off it just makes you as the writer seem not as talent and the rest of this poem shows you are.

    Suggestions: dont use the multiple periods to start off it takes away from the flow.
    periods at the end to show your moving on to a new idea.

    thanks for entering


  • Internal.Infection
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    I like it...
    It's very sweet and heartfelt. It brought me to tears just reading it. I couldn't imagine going through something like that. I mean, if I lost my boyfriend or one of my closest friends. I would be so devistated. My favorite lines are:

    I need you to know that even though you're not here, you're not gone
    because I hold you in my head, in my heart, and in my soul.

    Nicely done and very well put. Basically, what I'm saying is, it's a-fucking-mazing. The pain is deeply felt through the words based upon looking through your friend's eyes. I'm at a loss for words. Just...simply...beautiful and breathtaking. Keep penning. I enjoyed this very much. :]

    -Kaity-