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Victory Gin - Tribute Publication & Collected Works


Some of you knew him as Victory Gin.
Others knew him as Julien.
His family called him Manny.


He was born in the constellation of Pisces
and passed away under the stars of Sagittarius,
December 18th, 2008.


His poetry was provocative, to say the very least.
It was sometimes the song of a broken sparrow
and other times the howls from hell.


One moment he loved you with a lyric from a guitar
and the next minute he was leaving you
for the streets like a bard on a mission to find peace.


Whether you loved him, hated him or felt indifferent,

we all came to find ourselves riveted by his compulsions of genius
wit and spit...by those uncanny moments of light
that suddenly burst forth from darkness.


Please read his poetry here: http://allpoetry.com/Victory+Gin


In his wake, he has many family members and friends that are sad
to see him pass, he also has a small son, Aidan.


For many of us, we knew he was suicidal and many people
did everything they could to help him every time he called
or emailed. We knew that he wandered on the streets with a guitar
and a song, sometimes drunk and mean, sometimes sweet
and full of prayers. We all worried and wondered...


He told us all he would kill himself. He did.
The details of his death are not the focus, as much as how he lived
his poetry, which is what made his words so alive, so
full of the pain, venom and the spirit of refusal
to conform to the death of spirit or live by the clock of institutions.


He touched many people in his life, some where struck and some
were kissed. In any case, he did not go unnoticed.


As Rob said, "Some birds fly into the window."
The irony is that yesterday when I was writing about him a bird flew into
my house, it was of the sparrow family, and I felt it was Julien's presence.
I opened the back door up more so it could fly back outside.


And, I think I can see a smile on Julien's face just hearing that...
knowing he would rather fly than be stuck inside
a box or confined to a life of misery.


Originally Rob and I  were hosting this as a contest to honor his poetry
and his life but due to some subtle changes, we are posting it as a call
for entries for a publication to honor his life.

 

Julien had given me the rights to publish his work,

so I am working with his wife to do that for his son.

 

If you happen to have any of his poetry in your files
that is not currently posted on line, please email it to me at:
zayra.yves@gmail.com



The proceeds from his poetry will go to his son and family.



The first half of the book will focus on his works, the second
half of the book will be the poems and prose pieces others have written
about their experiences. We hope to see pieces that are written with bold
authenticity in the spirit of his work.


Please DO NOT write tribute poems with titles in his names "Julien,"
"Victory Gin" or "Manny" as we are looking for works that honor him
without being repetitive. He had a sharp eye for poorly written works,
so let's keep that alive too. If you happen to be good at a particular form
i.e. sonnet, villanelle, sestina, etc. then please indulge us with it,
since it was a long time favorite of his to write in traditional form
especially about very unconventional subjects.


If you wish to write about an experience you had with him then please put
it in a prose block and keep it under 400 words.



Please post the link to your poem in your comment and email it to me
at zayra.yves@gmail.com



If you do not know him but are interested in his works, then please visit
his poetry. You are welcome to submit a piece but must read his works
and list what poem of his you read in your author's comments.


Please pass this information on to those who might not be here
but would like to participate in this contest and publication.


We wish for Julien-Victory Gin-Manny that he is at peace now.



We will miss his brilliant poetry and great spirit.
We were inspired by his written words and we wrote poetry because of his presence.
We thank him for stirring up our lives with his fiesty ways.
We are grateful he was among us in this lifetime.


Rest in Peace Poet....
We honor you.


***************************************************

Some people have emailed their poems to zayra.yves@gmail.com
And will be included in the book...

Here are the posted poems by All Poetry Friends for Julien:


Wretched Weeping by Myrataal
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5488166

Owed to a Window Bird by just rob
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5539375

why is the mountain upside down by arafura
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5534792


My Friend Remains by Night Hope
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5531495

 

Upon contemplation of the suicide of a man by CvilleLisa
 http://allpoetry.com/poem/5541437

solstice phoenix by just mercedes
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5533295

Last Call by PK (Peteskid)
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5531479

Tracing Shadows in the Moonlight by ercivain01
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5534281

Dead Poet by BlanchtNoir
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4837465

Small Protest by Nicolette
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3056128

 

Death Has a Voice by Zayra Yves
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5548759

 


* photo of Julien by zayra yves
   california 2006



Death Has a Voice

 

It speaks from your throat
with sestinas for those who are wild at heart
and kept too long in cages.

Your voice
sings love letters to the moon,
low villanelles for angels
so their wings 
will cover the poet bones in sonnets
written about ghost shadows,
shotguns and suicides.

From your mouth of death
is a burning flower
that emerges as a smoke ring
of laughter
on fire with blue passion
like a god
who burns in flames
consumed by his desire to be a soulful man
ravaged in the cold streets
of unholy creations.

Death is not quiet.

You are an eternal howl,
a nomad of ash,
citadels, orchids and
the maiden voyage.


- zayra yves




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Comments

1 - 57 of 57
  • amaranth-
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    thank you Zayra for putting this together, (I know I was not ready to deal with this yet, so thank you)
    for the sparrow:

    How did you get away?
    You were the pet falcon of an old woman.
    Did you hear the falcon-drum?
    You were a drunken songbird put in with owls.
    Did you smell the odor of a garden?
    You got tired of sour fermenting
    and left the tavern.

    You went like an arrow to the target
    from the bow of time and place.
    The man who stays at the cemetery pointed the way,
    but you didn't go.
    You became light and gave up wanting to be famous.
    You don't worry about what you're going to eat,
    so why buy an engraved belt?

    I've heard of living at the center, but what about
    leaving the center of the center?
    Flying toward thankfulness, you become
    the rare bird with one wing made of fear,
    and one of hope. In autumn,
    a rose crawling along the ground in the cold wind.
    Rain on the roof runs down and out by the spout
    as fast as it can.

    Talking is pain. Lie down and rest,
    now that you've found a friend to be with.

    -Rumi

    I love you always....


    • Heart Sutra
      October 30
      Edit | Reply
      Ah. Just makes me cry. What a perfect Rumi poem for him...coming from one that loved him so flawlessly.


    • Heart Sutra
      October 30
      Edit | Reply
      Ah, this really made me feel sad again. My eyes watered up reading this. I am glad you posted it. I have been waiting for you and for the right time. I will go back to working on his book now and send the PDF draft to you sometime in the coming weeks.


  • DogFish silver member
    August 15
    Edit | Reply
    ...very cruel news!


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    Zayra, i have been so very busy lately, especially writing professional stuff, but i so want to write something for Julien. I am working on something and I thought about including this little "sparrow" cinquain as a tribute to him - as part of a poem.

    http://allpoetry.com/poem/3056128

    I hope i can meet your deadline (do you have a date?).

    Much love and peace to you, my friend



    ~ Nicolette


    • Heart Sutra
      July 27
      Edit | Reply
      Dear Nicolette,

      I have not set a deadline. I thought it would be best to let everyone adjust to the news first and just let everything flow of its natural accord. Although, now that you mention it, I suppose I will think of a date that is reasonable and would give everyone time to submit something. I am thinking I can start working on this at the end of August. I hope you can submit something. He loved your writing so much.

      Love,
      Zayra


  • just mercedes gold member
    July 23
    Edit | Reply
    Another I wrote for him, when I knew the news was true. I deleted it from AP but here it is, for what it's worth.

    when a sparrow falls

    did your wings freeze, sparrow
    so you fell?
    did you wake
    in another shot-gun dream
    too early one morning for the sun
    attack
    your own reflection
    in the dark glass
    and win?

    you played to the stars
    from gutter-glass outside bars

    nothing can harm us
    until we ask it to

    your songs lit my mornings
    with gifts of delight

    what music plays now, troubadour
    from your broken strings?

    we both thought there would be time
    neither wise enough to see

    this moment now
    is all there ever will be

    and never you again






  • Suzanne Dia
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    a beautiful tribute, Zayra
    enough to bring me out of my non-commenting, non-applauding status
    though I know that isn't the point
    it deserves it

    he was always interesting
    i was shocked to hear the news
    suppose i shouldn't have been
    but it is sad

    xx


  • Desire gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply

    Wow~

    My jaw has dropped and I remember his voice through words
    which touched anybody with a Heart
    He gave reason to write...

    I felt AP was missing a link
    but could not put my finger on it~
    until now...


    I will dig deep and see what can come forth
    to hopefully spill some ink
    that would have brought a smile~
    Appreciate ALL You are doing for him and his family
    My jaw is still dropped~~~
    Bless Your Heart


  • Amera gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    I had no idea; I wondered where he went. Thank you so much for writing this beautiful tribute and sharing it with me.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Lyndon gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply

    Zayra ...

    Thank you. Victory Gin, as I knew him, was perhaps too honest, too looking-at-life-in-its-brutal-truth.
    Unfortunately, I did not know him outside of his verse.
    My thoughts flow out from my Aussie PC across the Pacific to all his friends on and off line.
    Ron.


  • Heart Sutra
    July 18
    Edit | Reply
    For some reason the comment thread is disjointed and not matching up! Oh, well, we know what we are doing...forming a circle around Julien, his family, friends and poetry to honor him, that's what really matters.


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    i'm glad to see this exactly where it should be


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    I found it here- disregard my IM request. For some reason the other day this didnt work.



    he will be missed


  • cvillelisa
    July 17
    Edit | Reply
    http://allpoetry.com/poem/5541437#


    i was always honest with him -- and will remain so in honoring his life in the end.


  • just mercedes gold member
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    He inspired poems from me all the time - I wrote this one for your contest, then entered it in another when the contest disappeared. You know how I feel about it all - he knows I loved his spirit and his poetry. The one poem I wrote for him, that he liked, was called 'howling' but it's no longer on AP - I do think it is a better one than this, it's in amongst the emails somewhere. Best of luck with this, I know how hard it must be for you, and my heart is open to you.

    http://allpoetry.com/poem/5533295


  • just rob gold member
    July 16
    Edit | Reply
    http://allpoetry.com/poem/5539375


  • myrataal silver member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for posting this here, Zayra ...

    I wrote a new poem too on a comment he left me once about a poem on my mother: http://allpoetry.com/poem/5535387

    Here is the previous written poem, removed with your contest:

    http://allpoetry.com/poem/5488166 (wretched weeping)


    Love to you.
    Myra


    • Heart Sutra
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      a wonderfully perfect tribute, as he enjoyed Lorca's work, but something about him always reminded me a bit of Lorca too...must have been the guitar and the solemn fate.


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 15
    Edit | Reply
    I'm happy that you're posting this again, Zayra - such a shame that the contest was deleted . Thank you for what you and Rob did.

    I knew him and at times we talked a bit, such a complex, talented man he was. I will miss him here - who could write a villanelle like VG did? .

    This is a beautiful, hearfelt tribute Zayra - i know . May he rest in peace. Much love, my friend



    ~ Nicolette


  • NurseChilly gold member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    so sad Z.... you know my heart and what i know about him too... more than most
    i love you girl
    and well done to you and rob
    sigh


    • Heart Sutra
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      yes, dear Gil, and you know all too well how people suffer and where they go when they suffer, as well as about creative genius that pours forth from such sorrow and pith. I hope you will consider writing something for the collection too.


  • arafura gold member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    This is my poem Zayra. I wish I could have said it better.

    http://allpoetry.com/poem/5534792


    • Heart Sutra
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      you did a perfect job of saying it the way you have said it, I think he would be honored by this and can rest in peace knowing that we understood him.


  • Night Hope gold member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply


    Here's my poem. I loved him, too. We all did.

    "My Friend Remains"

    www.allpoetry.com/poem/5531495



    • Heart Sutra
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      wanda, we can always count on your soulful beauty and compassionate nature. he often came to you in his dark hours because he loved your light.


      • Night Hope gold member
        July 17
        Edit | Reply
        Thank you for honoring him so well, Zayra. I know he loved you, too. In the beginning, he was under the mistaken impression (like everyone else here, it seems) that I was "too light"; he enjoyed my writing, but hadn't dug into it deeply at that time. We had many in-depth discussions & I sent him a few links to show him that yes, I was all-too familiar with the darkness we all know at certain points in our lives. He understood me much better, then...& I think he grew to admire me even more after that. I tried not to lecture him, only to be understanding, as much as I could be. He also knew how much I did love him, 'cause I always told him so. I know it's a heavy burden, the genius he carried. We all tried to help him with its weight, but it's like swimming in the depths; we cannot swim for each other, we can only stand on the shore & shout encouragement. Like I've told my younger brother, too many times, "I would carry your weight upon my back, but it's up to you to breathe." Julien & I did have a few disagreements, like everyone else does, being individuals with different experiences, different thoughts. Yet, it is our very differences that bring us to each other's doors, seeking what knowledge we can offer one another. He always knew I'd leave a candle in the window for him. I always knew he loved me too, even when the shadows fell too hard. I also remember the contest he held about the horrific photograph of the child in Africa, where the vulture was standing behind her, waiting. His concern was undeniable for the unfortunate upon this earth. He understood justice & what was right, as well as what was wrong. His heart was compassionate & massive...he never held anything back, even if it wasn't palatable enough for many who choose to remain in the shallows, who deny that there are two sides to every coin, that there is duality in nature, in us all. Life consists of far more than the things that cause us pain. Having lost my favorite sister to suicide, & also having other family members who'd tried, let alone friends that dwelled upon the cliff's edge, daring the wind, I do understand the realities of darkness more than many others might. We cannot judge another by the choices they make in this existence; we cannot know their pains or their triumphs, ever. Those who state, "I understand how you feel" are deceiving themselves; no one ever does. All we can truly do for them is to hold their hand in silence. I held his hand as best as I could, as often as I could. He held mine, too. Nicolette has often said my "heart has many rooms". I reserved a suite for Julien a long time ago. It is filled with light & air, with music, art & literature. Now, it is filled with his songs, too. I sometimes joked with him that I knew him too well, since my ex & Don were also Pisces. He enjoyed that thoroughly. I take peace in knowing that I caused him to laugh when he didn't think it was possible sometimes. When we spoke on the phone (several times), I always made sure to tell him I loved him. He knew it was true. He was a good man, a wonderful writer & a marvelous human being. That's the man I knew. The darkness was there, but I focused on his inner light...which was so brilliant, it sometimes hurt my eyes. Still, I never once turned away from its warmth. He was my dear friend. I shall remain his. I have always detested the way people concentrate on the ending of someone's life, how they ultimately perished. I choose to remember the good, the worthy parts of it - how he lived, with flourish & grace. He had far more to offer us all than only his shadows, only his anger. Which of us doesn't fight the darkness within ourselves? Which of us doesn't rage against the injustices we experience? I shall only ever remember the man who made me smile, who made me gasp at his artistry. He still does. He always will.



        • ecrivain01
          July 17
          Edit | Reply

          Light ...

          it's all relative. He might have considered me "too light" too, since I don't do much really dark writing, but I know he liked my villanelles, and we had many good talks about poetry over the last few years. I still am a bit saddened that I said no when he asked me about the AP family thing, but in the final analysis, I still am not comfortable with that sort of thing, and I am fairly sure he realized that.

          I wish I had been feeling better when he contacted me after Thanksgiving last year. I just wasn't much up to talking, and didn't put things together until now. I was sure I had kept some of the im's we exchanged about poetry, but can't find them. Unfortunately, life must have been too onerous for him, and many highly intelligent artists have had similar problems. A number of lines in "Vincent" remind me of Julian. After all, Sylvia Plath and Vincent Van Gogh and a lot of others had similar difficulties with life. It sometimes seems to me that genius often can lead to suicide. Thankfully I'm not a genius.

          I'm sure he appreciates whatever we are thinking or doing to commemorate his passing, if indeed there really are "Strawberry Fields" waiting for us. He penned a response to my poem "Just Imagine", and now I can't find it. It's unfortunate, as it was an excellent little poem.


          • Heart Sutra
            July 18

            Edit | Reply
            His life may have been onerous at times, we can't ever know for sure what was true for him or of anyone's experiences, but his life from my perspective was really full for as short as it was. We are so used to defining "success" by certain terms, those that we are conditioned to believe in from an early age by society and our authority figures. In reality, "success" is relative. Julien lived in the moment and he had a rapid journey. We are sad to see him leave us so soon. I believe he enjoyed your poetry too, Jim. He loved a great challenge in the written realm, a good debate and a true fight over form, a disagreement over meter (he loved it). He was so shockingly verbose and intellectual online via the written word for such a gentle and tender soul in person. He was relentless about not giving into the status quo of this life, of this time we live in. He is a poet from the past and he chose the most difficult path one could choose. I don't believe he was seeking perfection from himself or anyone or even the written word so much as he was living in the raw moment that gives itself to pure talent because that is the gift, the trade off, for giving up the "success" of the status quo. God gives something to everyone and for Julien's chosen path, he was given great talent and the power of a well crafted series of words. He was given the aura to attract others to him and to leave them moved by his presence, for better or for worse, he left his mark everytime. He burned bright, hot and quick. We love him for it, for all of it.


  • cvillelisa
    July 14

    Edit | Reply


    He always told me he was going to do it, yes. You've captured him well -- he was at once vicious and then in a moment, so_ delicate. Like many, I had hours of instant message conversations with him. He used to leave -- hating me and then return seeking something --- something I could never give him in words. I do hold that from time to time, I was the person who calmed him on the other end.

    Yes.

    May he finally rest in peace.


    • Heart Sutra
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      I have no doubt that you offered him kindness, friendship and good conversation anytime that he came knocking on your door. I hope you will submit something for the tribute collection.


  • onerios13
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    Nicole just called me and told me the tragic news. I am stunned and deeply saddened. Julien had always been kind to me and my works and I will deeply miss his comments and his own stunning masterpieces. I feel the world has lost a very bright star and the poetic world has lost a truly magnificent voice.

    My thoughts and prayers to his family.

    • just rob gold member
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      we have to stop meeting like this...



    • Heart Sutra
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      there is no question or doubt in my mind that you and Nicole were his top favorites...he loved you two gals and worshipped your poetry. we have indeed lost something special by his leaving us so soon. I am glad you posted a comment here in his honor and I hope you will write a poem for the collection. I can't imagine a collection of tribute works without your voice there for him to listen to from the otherside. when I die, I hope one of your poems is in my book too.

  • Rowan gold member
    July 14

    Edit | Reply

    I didn't get know him while he was here, so thank you for this opportunity, and tribute.
    “We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been — a place half-remembered and half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when”
    Quote: Starhawk.

    This just seemed right.

    Kathleen


    • Heart Sutra
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      sometimes we don't have to know a person, so much as we can feel them through the way others knew them...feel them through their poetry...thank you for being with us here to honor him.

  • Nicole Hanna
    July 14
    Edit | Reply
    I didn't know. This makes me so sad. He embodied poetry in his every breath.

    • Heart Sutra
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      He really liked you a lot Nicole.

      • Nicole Hanna
        July 17
        Edit | Reply
        Thanks for that. It's good to hear.

        I've been reading your replies to others here, and I'm so warmed by the thought that you're the one putting this all together, while working with some of the most talented poets I've ever met. He'd have loved this! (And probably hated it at the same time )


  • Cat
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    He couldn't decide if he loved me or hated me. He would come to my poetry and leave comments that would knock my socks off, send me messages that were provocative, full of love and full of alcohol insight or start a conversation by saying " haven't been drinking just so you know that everything I am about to say is real". He was pretty mad at me in the end. I take some comfort in the fact that It was unprovoked. I hadn't spoken to him in months... But it sure makes me sad that that was our final communication...

    The world was more interesting, colorful and very often brighter with him in it. I am deeply saddened ...

    This is a beautiful tribute.


    • Heart Sutra
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      we all know how much he was infatuated with your poetry and how close he tried to be to you. we can't blame him for that, now can we. I hope you will submit something for the collected works.


  • Peteskid gold member
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    http://allpoetry.com/poem/5531479

    email is on the way...PK


    • Heart Sutra
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      thank you PK for sharing your tribute...it is so well crafted and I know he would have been honored by your depth of understanding for him

  • arafura gold member
    July 14
    Edit | Reply
    R.I.P.

  • ecrivain01
    July 14
    Edit | Reply

    R.I.P. mon ami ...

    You knew, as I know, that we're all a heart beat away from Eternity.


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    this is a great way to tribute your friend....i'm sure he's smiling from wherever he is. I was not around here when he was but I will definitely be sure to read some of his work.


    • Heart Sutra
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      thank you Matt. I warn you ahead of time, his work was not pretty, in fact it was seldom pretty but it was always raw, real and grabbed you from the otherside of life. It could not be ignored. It was a voice that demanded to be heard. He was gifted in many ways, one of which was to write about non-traditional things in very traditionally perfect forms of poetry. thank you for sharing this honor with us.


      • Matt E. Smith gold member
        July 17
        Edit | Reply
        I was very impressed with his work. I'm not a huge fan of reading form poetry on here because I've found most people dilute the message and force the rhyme but his was exceptional. Raw, poignant poetry is my favourite to read... let me know when this book is put together - I'd be interested in a copy.

        • ecrivain01
          July 17
          Edit | Reply

          There are some very good poets on here ...

          who write form poetry. Julian favored villanelles and sonnets, and I write both, as do many others. It's true that many on here write bad rhyme, but there are a good number who are excellent writers as well.


          • Matt E. Smith gold member
            July 17
            Edit | Reply
            I wasn't suggesting that there aren't good poets on here... just stating that I definitely dig his work and it is probably the best/most original in terms of rhyme I have seen.


            • Heart Sutra
              July 18
              Edit | Reply
              I hope to have his book together in about six weeks. We want to give everyone enough time to submit their works, plus family and friends outside of All Poetry. I will announce it here when it is finished.

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