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The devil in disguise

The wick is fading
flames are low
soon to fade into
eternal darkness

Silence overwhelming
devastating,
but now I feel alive
I creep, and prowl
in all corners of your mind...

The pain and hate
uncontrolled
can you hear me
seething now a sigh

Bloody tears you weep
a crimson river

long has dried
Now there's blood

upon your hands
screaming echoes
walking unhallowed lands...

Whats lived so long within
has crept to be without

No shame nor fear
of tainted soul
Ive always been

the calling
the cries within

the night
the shadows you
wont find again
stories past through time

Can you feel me
there's prickles on your skin
can you hear me
I have risen now again

 

Do you see what I see...

The devil in disguise...

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Concrete Angel silver member
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is great. I love the sort of vague hints through the poem toward what you ultimately reveal at the end. When I was donw reading this I thought to myself that this could be read as someone talking to their reflection in a mirror as they descend deeper and deeper into the darkness consuming their mind... especially with these two lines
    "Whats lived so long within
    has crept to be without"

    Those lines really created a picture in my mind of someone struggling to keep their inner demons at bay, but those inner demons finally took over.
    And you have a great flow to this piece that creates a very chilling atmosphere. Very wel done yet again


  • lil miss kassarina
    October 8

    Edit | Reply
    hey thanks for the coment i love uir style of writting its very deep and yeah i know i always have poor spelling u want to read a deep poem u should read my poem mistakes lol i wrote it when i was twelve its unbelavable lol alright i better sign off thanks


  • awannabepoet
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    How in the blazes did I miss this amazing poem? Wooohhhhh!!!!

    I am furious at myself, I thought I had read all your peotry so far.

    Arrgggg!

    But this is just awesome as always, you have such a way with free verse.


  • Arjita gupta
    August 23

    Edit | Reply
    The words have an elegant quality about itself.
    The steady rise of the evil within a self is well done that it creates a mystic and curiousity that builds the rhythm in the stanza's.

    I especially loved these stanza's:

    The pain and hate
    uncontrolled
    can you hear me
    seething now a sigh

    Bloody tears you weep
    a crimson river

    long has dried
    Now there's blood

    upon your hands
    screaming echoes
    walking unhallowed lands...

    The imagery is very strong in here.
    Great work!


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    July 17

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome...

    Deep, dark narrative that almost whispers in its delivery with some great word choices, rhythm & flow...
    Impressive as always...
    Keep up the good work...
    Well done!!!


  • Jayde1
    July 14
    Edit | Reply

    wicked

    had to go back and read this again

    tis awsome.......you always amaze me with ure talent


    this is indeed truly wicked...


    i say again well done my love



  • Jayde1
    July 14

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this is amazing

    a fantasic write my love

    as always you pen a great poem


    No shame nor fear
    of tainted soul
    Ive always been

    the calling

    loved this bit loads


    nice one babe

1 - 7 of 7