Depression, A Theory of.

You would appear through my smile,
in the white of my teeth,
the glint in my eye.
Old friend, it has been a while.

Replaced with chemicals and
prescription bottles,
the orange glow on my fingers...
it's not the same.

A deadness in my eyes, that's how he described it;
a silence, as if the tongue was never there.

Imbalance between A and B,
this seesaws completely one sided.
The moving truck was fairly empty
as memories on the sidewalk waved farewell.

Define "happiness" anyway?
A momentary manic episode,
chocolate and serotonin. It's all synthetic and
the nail is in the coffin.
Hope I'm not missing much.

Author notes

I wrote this senior year about my inability to really find happiness and grasp onto it. Becoming medicated was like...becoming a zombie. I don't have clinical depression, I have something entirely different, but either way the medication they put me on was horrible and it made me sick to my stomach that I was slowly losing the person I was. Needless to say I am now properly diagnosed and the medication I am on is a mood stabilizer which works great for me.