It’s not survivorship I seek, no great
inheritance, it’s not what you are leaving
behind I want. It’s not your modest fame
nor your exclusive neighborhood I’d claim.
No worldly riches to spend while I’m grieving.
Nor is a gilded cage what I’d create.
Your tender heart and sparkling eyes on me
are all the riches that I wish to see.
Your wondrous soul has food I know will sate
my appetite, your clever mind that’s weaving
me in its spell. Cavorting without shame
beneath the sheets and with our words, the same
kind nature as my own. I find I’m cleaving
more and more to the man I’d like as mate.
Author notes
Intentional variations to meter in Lines 5, 13, and 14. Feminine endings on Lines 2, 5, 10, 13.
2009 July 13
In a list
Thank you for reading. Critical commentary welcome.
Comments
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A remarkably fine poem, using an unusual form with integrity, I like the idea, particularly when the poet is able, as is the case here, to get the couplet that in this form is in the butterflies body position, which of course should represent the bodily ideals of the poems theme? I think this happens here and produces a lovely poetic experience. The word "cleaving" meaning stick fast to, adhere strongly or become very involved with? could be used instead of "believing" in the final sentence, just a thought. I liked this poem a lot.
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Thank you bunches! I am somewhat abashed at such high praise.
Yes, the butterfly's body couplet is meant to contain the ideals of the poem's theme, or what is typically the summation/closure couplet in many other sonnet forms.
Thank you for the suggestion of "cleaving;" I like both the word and its meaning, and will ponder how I could use this in a re-write.
Edit: Thanks, SS, for the suggestion for my ending. I found a way to incorporate your suggestion that I feel improves the poem and makes the final stanza more cohesive.
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