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and I would walk five hundred miles...

Missing image

I believe

trees around me quivered

when I stepped out

to go back, and

head east toward you.

 

Moving against acceptable grain,

to land of rising sun...

 

no matter how far our distance,

I felt Earth's core pull me,

align energies of our collective nuclei

to revolve around each other..

 

transpose into foggy clouds 

the face calling me with

your voice,

sent shivers through me with

your breath

it danced, slid, kissed

on blistered skin.

 

I wanted to keep for mementos

each lonely mile,

every second that stretched

while wearied feet propelled me.

 

And my heart can be heard:

clangs banging in an empty cage

against space of real time,

where you

hover above me

in air of indigo blue skies...

 

...and somehow I made it

across stretched space,

 

and that smile in your eyes told me

how very glad you were

that I'd made it

after all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

that Proclaimers song '500 miles' stayed right there,
the whole way through this write.

A contest entry

say what?

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Comments

1 - 34 of 34

  • John BoSox
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfull poem..very compelling and poignant.Your thoughts are so descriptive .This is a dark write..intriging..captivating..You present emotions in a subtle, yet pronounced manner..You hold my attention so well, from start to finish..Good for you..Welll done.I enjoyed your style, your easy manner of writing..Thank you for this write...Give me more

    John


    • JinSays gold member
      July 16
      Edit | Reply
      what a lovely comment. I have more than 500 writes in my archives for you to play in, feel free
      Love,
      jin


  • crivanea silver member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    just beautiful...magical words that tell a story worth repeating..reminds me of that song "thousand mile" my friend's favorite..anyways..this is lovely..best of luck in the contest..I do believe you did a well job with the prompt


  • parenchma
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    Put on some sunglasses and sunscreen... and a laaarge white hat. And for gotts sake, take off the high heels. You are not hitch hiking...


  • queen Moderators member
    July 15

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem you have penned takes the reader on a nice journey


  • Draig aine gold member
    July 15
    Edit | Reply

    ah a sigh

    you are such a left coaster, it is nice here in the foggy foggy dew grin

  • id walk 500 miles over broken beer bottles in bare feet if you was at the other end lol nice work sweet pea very nice

    • JinSays gold member
      July 16
      Edit | Reply
      Glenn, you're so good to me.
      What a lovely comment sweetheart, thank you.


  • Jersene gold member
    July 14
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful penning...though, now that song is in my head.

  • that smile in his eyes, a welcoming home.

    a very good poem.


  • Amera gold member
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful and I'm glad I waited until there were other comments here. Your poetry is wonderful as it triggers so many different responses in other poets. Well done!

    Love,
    Amera


  • DolceVito gold member
    July 14
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful...and I would walk five hundred more


  • Cup-a-Joe
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    East of Cali. is Tennessee, right? Ill see you as soon as you get here.
    My eyes will be big and bulging.

    Joe


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    I totally love this song sis
    and your poem took me those miles
    Through imagery and thoughts
    Lovely
    Julie x

  • awesome job...liked this poem

    how funny is it that i lost my virginity with that song playing in the background??? lol yeah...very romantic.


    • JinSays gold member
      July 13
      Edit | Reply
      ohhhh, stop
      really?
      guess it's better than "purple rain"...lol
      naw, take that back-it was better
      thanks for the comment Matt.
      Love,
      jin

      • it killed the mood lol it's one of those songs i can't help but sing when i hear it... and trust me there is nothing remotely romantic about hearing me serenade anyone. purple rain would have been better.


        • JinSays gold member
          July 13
          Edit | Reply
          reminds me of standing knee deep in mud, wearing big big hair and a dark purple sweater, that was low cut...and I was at the southeast texas state fair, having some carni staring at my boobs and asking if I smoked pot.
          and letting me ride the super-loop over and over by myself
          screamed myself silly.
          Old Prince could sure sway my adolescent resolve


  • moluv10
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    I like what you did with this poem. i like that song as well. Excellent writing as usual my friend. good luck in the contest.


    • JinSays gold member
      July 13
      Edit | Reply
      nice to see you around again my dear friend. you like this song? lol, I love it..always did. hope you're doing well, have missed ya.
      love,
      jin


  • Cannonsfire
    July 13
    Edit | Reply
    No you should be heading south for the winter ...lol to me and the sunshine land


    • JinSays gold member
      July 13

      Edit | Reply
      Im coming as soon as I can, how's that?



      omg, let's do a caravan, I hear they're too much fun...I bet you Aussies know how to party....in fact, I know you do...wooohooo, and Im so planning to come....yay!


      • Cannonsfire
        July 13
        Edit | Reply
        Juls has a caravan up on the river, we can go up there and you can meet our local wildlife and creepy snakes LOL but ya can waterski too


        • JinSays gold member
          July 13
          Edit | Reply
          creepy snakes and wildlife...I assume you're talking about the local bar
          sounds like fun...if you think you're dragging me out to feed me to the crocs, you gotta another thing coming

          lol


          • Cannonsfire
            July 13

            Edit | Reply
            lol those at the bar and the ones in the grass lol but we'll keep ya safe..and we don't have crocs in our rivers in Victoria they stay up the top end lol


  • Pure Thought silver member
    July 13
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice, but I willing to meet you in say... Omaha.

    I like !

1 - 34 of 34