I.
By these small and honest words alone,
I'll pen the ecstasy that grips my mind
And from this mortal lexicon I'll find
That man is incomplete and error-prone.
And yet - and here is what I must make known -
When two hearts meet and lives are intertwined
And love is whispered soft, not far behind
Perfection, by a poet's hand, is shown.
When the sunset falls upon my verse
Every star for lightyears round will see,
And when the lamplights dim and shadows grow
And meteors the foreign sky traverse
The moon will tilt to read my poetry
And every star for lightyears round will know.
II.
Every star for lightyears round will know
My secret; every star will know your name
And burn much brighter, with a whiter flame -
We'll watch them dance, our hearts both set aglow,
And try our hardest not to let it show.
Fireflies will flicker in and do the same
Eager quite to join the evening game
On grass we'll rest, hold hands, and watch them go.
Perhaps we'll talk until the darkness dies
And light, so dim, so faint, appears above,
Our voices mingling with the morning light.
Perhaps we'll look into each other's eyes
With eyes that brim with still-unspoken love
With eyes that softly penetrate the night.
III.
With eyes that softly penetrate the night,
You look at me, and darkness flies away.
With meaning that escapes the empty day,
You speak, your voice a waterfall of light.
The stars above can easily ignite
A girl who in the past had gone astray
Yet now, although bright comets are at play,
Only you will linger in my sight.
And even if the roads ahead are rough
And even if all else I have is lost
I'll never fall, for always, you'll be here.
A caring hand to hold when things get tough
A voice I'll fight to hear at any cost
A boy too precious to my heart, too dear.
IV.
A boy too precious to my heart, too dear
Yet torn away abruptly from my side
A heart adored too ardently to hide
A separation blue enough to fear.
A dream, so dim, so close to coming clear
A glimpse of beauty 'fore the colors died
Believing it and willing it, I tried
Not to let the vision disappear -
Were you just a dream? Or are you real?
You must be, according to Descartes -
If only for a moment, you were mine.
And still you are. The bond that we can feel
Is forged from passions of the fervent heart
And nothing can destroy this sacred twine.
INTERMISSION: Yes, I just rhymed 'Descartes' with 'heart'. xD
V.
Nothing can destroy this sacred twine
That links us even though we walk apart
Nothing can undo this mystic art
This poetry, this artistry divine.
Our feelings now no science can define
Our souls no mathematics hope to chart
For who can break enigmas of the heart?
And who can tell us why our pupils shine?
Two goldfish, into different oceans tossed
Swimming separate ways in separate seas
Yet always to each other we are drawn -
Two goldfish, swimming through the quiet frost
Despite the time when wintry waters freeze,
We pause, remembering, and then go on.
VI.
We pause, remembering, and then go on,
Remembering the quakes we felt within
When first we watched the dancing planets spin,
Awake all through the night, until the dawn
Arrived. I open eyes to find you gone
The dewdrops damp and cold upon my skin
And mournfully, I let the day begin,
Another empty day to write upon.
And yet, in all my solitude, I find
Although the hours ticking by are blue
And though between us many miles lie,
You're never farther from me than my mind
And always, in my dreams, I'll be with you
Beneath the fragile clouds that crown the sky.
VII.
Beneath the fragile clouds that crown the sky,
I'll sing to you, eternal words of truth
Within the fleeting seconds of my youth,
I'll dream of you, my heart to satisfy.
If anyone were to our love deny
I'd turn away, for I'd know it wasn't true
Beneath the endless plain above of blue,
I'll think of you, and smile, maybe cry -
I remember lonely fragments of my past:
Striking matches in the humid air
And waiting by an ever-silent phone -
Then thinking how salvation came at last,
I lift my pen, my love for you declare
By these small and honest words alone.
Author notes
1) An italian/petrarchan sonnet consists of an octave and a sestet with the following rhyme scheme: abbaabba cdecde
I've heard that the rhyme scheme can vary for the sestet, but this is what I used here. In the last stanza, I changed the rhyme scheme of the octave to abbaacca because there were simply no more rhymes for 'truth' and 'youth' that I could use. But it's ok... it's allowed.
I didn't follow the sonnet form when it comes to content... but other than that, I think I did okay.
2) Iambic pentameter - an iamb is a poetic foot equivalent to one unstressed syllable followed by one stressed syllable. For example, the word 'above' makes an iamb. Every line in each poem here has 5 iambs.
*The meter is not perfect - some lines, you might find, start with a stressed syllable. I'm sure that you could find quite a few metrical abnormalities if you looked for them, but please don't bother me about them. I fixed all the significant ones.
3) A sonnet corona, or crown of sonnets, is a series of sonnets with interlocking themes. The last line of each sonnet is the first line of the next, and the first line of the first sonnet is the last line of the last sonnet. Traditionally, coronas are italian sonnets.
4) Goldfish - he's that wonderful boy. =D
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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I love this so much. It almost made me cry.
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I mean said
sorry about the misspelled word.
This poem I believe captures the essence of love and gives one a new take on reality.
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Beautiful
This was amazing!
(There is nothing else that can be sayed about this poem) -
this was stunning.
a beautiful write,
thanks for entering. -
that was beautiful xxxxxx
love love
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Loved it and I very much appreciated the authors notes. Good poetry is an art, but to intentionally put that art into a specific form takes an extra level of discipline from the artist, so I applaud you for that.
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Promise ... sing
Firstly : Descartes in French is pronounced DAY CART so the rhyme with heart is perfectly legitimate - thus there is no need for a justifying note
Secondly : Given your age and versatility this Crown is well approached and handled.
One might suggest that you review the indefinite articles and perhaps consider redrafting to both heighten depth adding layers of alliterative meaning which may upon review be seen to enhance the echo you wish to reverberate through time.
THE 37
AND 30
I/MY 34
Enjoyable and remarkably mature and self restrained
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lol... thanks for your compliments, and most of all, your criticism... I think most of the indefinite articles in there I wrote just to satisfy the requirements of iambic pentameter, so that every line would start with a breva. I'll try to see if I can fix that... I think I might rewrite sonnets 3 and 4 because they aren't that good... thank you!
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Great work. You've obviously put an awful lot into the creation of this poem, and it was a real delight to read and ponder.
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a meaty sort of write.
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whoa...very long sonnet there. a brilliant one though. the first couple of stanzas were the ones that got me most, though i started to lose interest in the last few. these lines especially were my favorites:
"Every star for lightyears round will know
My secret; every star will know your name
And burn much brighter, with a whiter flame"
probably because i'm such an astronomy freak. ^_^
excellent write, not realy anything for me to criticise.
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Wow
Your poetry is on another level... Extremely well done ;-)
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Good control of the sonnet structure.
I liked the sustained celestial atmosphere.
Especially the lines: "The moon will tilt to read my poetry"
and "When first we watched the dancing planets spin".
Unable to pick up the phone, picking up your pen shows admirable "salvation".
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Simply beautiful. No critique, I simply enjoyed this from start to finish. Written from the heart and what more can one ask from poetry?
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were you taught this style of poetry; or, is this a personal research project
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this is very personal... I fell in love, and decided that I had to do something for him because he is just so amazing.. so I googled 'sonnet corona' and wrote one... =D
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A WORTHY ATTEMPT!!!
a very worthy attempt at sonnet; three quatrains, finishing with a couplet...! well-done! save one flaw; a couplet is a rhyming scheme (like the ones you use in the middle of your quatrains. sonnets are difficult to compose and you have done well...! reading the author's notes, i forgot about the other (more complicated) form of a sonnet and you have done an excellent job of it!!! i guess, i better crack open my poetry books again...!
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thank you for your praise
could you please explain the flaw you found? I'm not sure I know what you mean. thanks... shya
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Excellent
'tis a very fine write, indeed. I didn't have a favorite stanza. Imagery; rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
I admire you for doing sonnets (I dont think I could lol) I must say that you did it brilliantly, I love the flow and rich beautiful words, very well done x
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thank you for the author's note...I found it very useful in understanding exactly what i was reading. this was incredible writing. i am inspired and motivated by you to try something bigger and more complicated than my previous writes. thank you so much. peace and light, kp
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wow, you can be really proud of this - it is quite the ambitious undertaking! I liked the intermission - made me laugh.
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This is simply beautiful, amazing! The words you chose couldn't be better and my favourite is the fifth sonnet.
Brilliant job!
Nela
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This is beautifully written. Writing in these forms cannot have been easy, but you pulled them off well.
There are some things I think you should maybe reconsider, though.
The note at the start ---> I agree with Individuality. And I don't know about you, but I always read poems from start to finish.
Perhaps we'll look into eachother's eyes ---> each other's
Yet torn away abrubtly from my side ---> abruptly
INTERMISSION: Yes, I just rhymed 'Descartes' with 'heart'. ---> pointing that out seems a bit unnecessary?
Our feelings now no science can defign ---> define
Yet always to eachother we are drawn ---> each other
♥ lyrebird -
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thanks for the edits!
and I do agree with you and individuality about the note - I'm off to delete that now... =D But I'm keeping the intermission. Shya
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i thought this very patronising right from clikcing in.
Please scroll down to the author's notes if you don't know what a sonnet corona is. Also, please read these sonnets in order; they read like a story, and might not make sense if you skip around.]
how cheeky is that to talk to your readers like they are fools? ha i know you and i have just clicked in. all this with forms. it is good poetry but the emphasis should be on the poetry, not what form it is or how wel you harsh and soft... hi.
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ack... you say you know me, but I don't think I know you...?
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were my tongue not so heavy
that I might glide so easily over words
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This is great work - you've written a beautiful testament to love here, in a very difficult form.
Congratulations, poet!
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you nailed this no doubt. i can see you have been doing your homework on this one. well done
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this is a work of art
you are wonderful
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i love that you did italian meter. i have recently tried to take it up, and you blew all of my works away. its heartfelt - beautiful and i really have nothing to critique. part VI was jus...gorgeous. the imagery is jus perfect. the last lines of your sonnet story,
"And waiting by an ever-silent phone -
Then thinking how salvation came at last,
I lift my pen, my love for you declare
By these small and honest words alone."
echoed your opening lines:
"By these small and honest words alone,
I'll pen the ecstasy that grips my mind
And from this mortal lexicon I'll find
That man is incomplete and error-prone."
so PERFECTLY. it summed up everything, closed it off. it's gorgeous, and i'm glad that i read this.
keep on keepin' on
*especially on the computer writing more gorgeous sonnets*
hisxlastxregret
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This is amazing, I love your words they hooked me from the first line.
The intermission was very cute (:
Nice little break from the sonnet.
Great work, this is beautiful<3
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