His lady sat in rushes where he sought her,
Down by the lake of mist, where swam the Fey;
Extending lily feet into the water,
While lily fingers with her hair did play:
Her beauty like some drifting vision wrought her,
Appearing like a jewel against the grey
Of jealous skies, who had no better star
Then this, his lady, twice as pure, as rare -
He found her where his heart had led him, seeking
So fair a face as he once saw before -
Yet now he lingered near her, awed, unspeaking
And watched her by that shaded sleepy shore
While 'cross the slated sky the birds were streaking
With cries to wake the sun and him implore
To break the lakeside fog with copper beams -
To pierce the mist-clad lady of his dreams -
He saw her there - he willed his footsteps nearer -
He willed his tongue to speak a single word,
Advancing as his lady still grew clearer -
Her eyes his longing heart with rapture stirred;
He crept until his striving ears could hear her
Singing a melody he'd never heard
That passed through all his being like a wave
Of Beauty dead in some forgotten grave -
And then she raised her head, his dearest vision
And spread her arms to draw him to her side
And laughed - at last his voice had burst its prison -
In ecstasy his heart to heaven cried -
But then: the mists - they parted - cruel division!
And then his mist-clad lady swiftly died -
The sun its Death-like shafts upon him shone:
The knight fell weeping there, his lady gone.
Author notes
I wrote this late at night when I wasn't expecting to write anything at all, so I don't know how good it is. . .also the first time I've written ottava rima (and it's got a variation here, obviously). . .
A contest entry
- 10 Options {Pre-writes aloud} by Little Lesley.
700 points, ended August 28, 109 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what thinkest thou of it. . .
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Truthfully, this is one of the most amazing pieces I have ever read.
Your skill with form inspires me greatly to keep working at it. I just recently started learning form. I love that you put Edgar Allan Poe's work on your page. I'm really into reading and writing Olde English, so I will be considering you a mentor.
Don
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wow. thank you.
I am deeply honored that you think so.
To know that I have inspired you is greatly encouraging to me. . .if you have any questions in your learning of form, I would love to be asked. 
A mentor? 
Hmmm...I can try
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That's very good! I love your imagery! I hope to see more from you! Love your rhyme!
Good Luck!
♥~Little Lesley~♥ -
Very Romantic -- Well Written
She was just a sream in the mist
would have wet his mouth had they kissed
but to have her was not his to have
To insist of just plain mist was too bad
Tiki Cat
Buy my Tiki's Gourmet Cat Food
"Too Good For Humans"
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This is simply marvellous. A flawlessly done ottava rima telling the unfortunate tale of a knight and his pursuit of this spectral-- and, alas, ephemeral-- lady. I enjoyed this poem very much; please write more narratives! You do so deftly display a knack for them.
I also loved your imagery throughout, such as, "lily feet"/"lily fingers" or the sun's "death-like shafts". Wonderfully envisioned and developed. Keep it up!
Dan
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I am most pleased to read your comment, Dan, my friend. . . I'm so glad you liked it that much. . .and since you do, I suppose I'll have to write some more narratives, like you say. . .
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Very nice. I enjoyed it. nothing wrong with writing a poem late at night. that's when my writing is best
I feel dumb because I have to ask, what is ottava rima? anyway nice job
-Steve-
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don't feel dumb
I'm glad you asked! I usually forget to put the form requirements in the author notes. . .ottava rima is where each stanza rhymes abababcc, only in this case I added feminine rhyme to the a-lines, etc. never tried it before, so I'm glad it worked out all right. . . 
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that it did. thanks
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Oh, I think it a fine narrative piece, very deftly done throughout! bravo, bravo!!
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I love the Rima and I love fantasy poetry. This poem is magic and as I read your notes, I see that it is magic that composed it. Thank you for the magical trip.
Love,
Amera
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I don't care for the shone/gone rhyme, but loved everything else! The meter and rhyme scheme is woven together so nicely and it tells a beautiful story. Truly poetic. Gorgeous execution.
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Lovest I this spillage from thy quill fairest lady.
I love the phrase 'mist-clad', it certainly paints a beautiful image.
Ceri
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oh, the Lady Elinor thanks thee greatly for thine applauds. . .
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In the first stanza I love the use of "sought her", "water", "wrought her". All in all I think it's delightful.
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