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A Letter From Your Secret Admirer

What beauteous visage do I behold?
And what gallant spirit awaits behind?
But exotic eyes and hair of spun gold
And an ardent heart that beats unconfined
How can your slender stature be so strong?
Immense your wisdom and so fast your wit
Did you descend and in truth do belong
To Heaven, for such place you would befit?
Velvety laughter and your Earthy scent
Create the ambience of a sweet dream
But dear I must profess my discontent
Whilst hope for your love in my heart does gleam
This message written by passion’s debtor
From your secret admirer--a letter.

Author notes

For a contest.
Hurrah for sonnets. And hurrah for this contest which gives me the excuse to write another!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • VelvetWings
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    Ohhh wow this is a great job~
    I can't sonnet so every time you write one I'm like 'woooowwwww!'
    Good luck in the contest!
    ~Sparrow

    • k.malakante
      July 14
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! ^_^
      I still think you should have a play around with sonnets XD They are fun lol And I'm certain you could manage one! ^_^


  • venomoustoad
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful sonnet. I have never tried to write one but yuo certainly have the form down. Nicely done. I hope you win.

    • k.malakante
      July 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks a lot! I've only written the few that I've posted here--it was a poetry form I avoided like the plague during school but all of a sudden I'm liking it!


  • rrw gold member
    July 13

    Edit | Reply

    fantastic!

    What I adore about this poem is how you keep the feel of the traditional love poems of Wllie's time and also the Romantics while still sounding contemporary.  Beautiful, elegant phrasing. I like the use of feminine endings on lines, AND really admire the rhyme of the couplet. However, I'm not sure if the natural stress on the words passion and debtor in the first line of the couplet is working for you as well as it could. AND I really don't know what to do with it.
    Other than that, a great, great sonnet.

    • k.malakante
      July 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks a lot for the comment, I'm only just getting into writing sonnets so it's great to get some feedback! The couplet gave me a bit of a headache if I'm honest--virtually everything I came up with didn't have a sensible rhyme! *sweatdrop*

1 - 6 of 6