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Dust Upon the Sill

There's dust upon the window sill
  And on the sofa where she lay -
Where I can see her lying still -
There's dust upon the window sill:
It coats the drapes that thickly spill
  Against the carpet, old and grey;
There's dust upon the window sill
  And on the sofa where she lay;
Her presence haunts me with a chill
Like dust upon the window sill -
But I will love her yet, until
  I cannot live another day -
There's dust upon the window sill
  And on the sofa where she lay.





Author notes

I wrote this fast, while trying to defeat a bad case of writer's block. . .



A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Maggie Kay gold member
    September 10
    Edit | Reply
    great repetition and flow
    good work keep it up
    kmp


  • Calamity
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    I hope you don't mind but just churned out a few chords to the rhythm of this piece. I wont steal it or anything, just wanted to see how it would sound. Came up with a bluesy sound. The repition is perfect for it. Great write, good to see some of us come out of slump with grace ; )

    Keep penning, thanks for the read and sweet melody.


    • XLadyElinorX
      August 3
      Edit | Reply
      oh I don't mind at all! in fact, I'm flattered thanks for your comment, and indeed, I shall keep penning Elinor


  • oldschoolhero gold member
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    :[

    damn
    i want to see what your midn can churn out when u dont have writers block
    *goes overto your page*

    hhaha

    good stuff!!!!!

    mucho amor,
    oldschool


  • Legend silver member
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful piece to come out of a slump with Guess if it was me I'd be looking for another slump to get into If this is what it can produce
    Excellent

  • hendiadys
    August 1
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting

    Would you agree it's a sort of double triolet?


  • lianonsidhe silver member
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    Sooo lovely! I love fantasy/story telling poetry and this is a beauty!
    The mystery surrounding who she was, why she died and who was left behind tantalises, whilst the rich imagery paints a vivid picture. Well crafted poet!
    Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful write.
    Lianonsidhe

    • XLadyElinorX
      August 1
      Edit | Reply
      oh thank you thank you I am so pleased you think so - it was really only a poem to get me out of a slump. . .but it turned out so well. . .


  • Valery
    August 1
    Edit | Reply

    Very good!

    It's not only very good - it's absolutely magnificent: nostalgic and a little sad...


  • Dezzy26
    August 1
    Edit | Reply
    Good penning, I loved the flow of your write... good job!

  • aah oh my god... this is haunting.. and incredibly smart.. i really wasn't expecting that ending.. fantastic rhyme and amazing flow, but really the best thing about this poem was how it was written.. its beautiful. very well done, and congratulations on the spotlight!

    xx
    -LM-


  • RainbowSky
    July 31
    Edit | Reply
    this is so beautiful, no wonder its in the spotlight

  • This is wonderful! Congratulations on the Spotlight! I love the rhyme and flow!


  • malmadre gold member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    Classic! with imagery that is flawless and dramatic. This tragedy of a fallen lady, is in the style of Poe. It works so well!
    There is a name for your rhyming form but it escapes me right now. I like it so much!

    • XLadyElinorX
      August 1
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for your comment, poet! yes, it is in the style of Poe - as he is one of my favorite poets, he influences a lot of my work. . . the form is officially a triolet sonnet


  • katie marie silver member
    July 31
    Edit | Reply
    It's beautiful! So simple and yet creates a song of sweet remembrance.

  • Topnotchsy
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really great write. I can see why it was nominated to be featured on the front page of the site in the "In the Spotlight" section.

  • THis is good for having writers block!!

  • Well you did an excellent job at defeating your writers block I must say All it takes is one good poem to get past it



    -Steve-

  • Purrsanthema
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with Eusebius. Would you send me your writer's block? LOL! If I could only write like that all the time while unblocked!

    • XLadyElinorX
      July 13
      Edit | Reply
      oh, I would gladly send you my writer's block, but I'm afraid that it stubbornly refuses to attach to anyone but me. . . thanks for your wonderful comment

  • Eusebius
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    This is fantastic! Potent, lovely, lyrical, haunting, enthralling! This is a fine and polished jewel! superb! oh, did I say I loved it? I do!

1 - 25 of 25