And on the sofa where she lay -
Where I can see her lying still -
There's dust upon the window sill:
It coats the drapes that thickly spill
Against the carpet, old and grey;
There's dust upon the window sill
And on the sofa where she lay;
Her presence haunts me with a chill
Like dust upon the window sill -
But I will love her yet, until
I cannot live another day -
There's dust upon the window sill
And on the sofa where she lay.
Author notes
I wrote this fast, while trying to defeat a bad case of writer's block. . .
A contest entry
- Give me your best by condor.
2600 points, ended August 20, 192 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewites aloud! Click to find out more by Maggie Kay.
550 points, ended October 14, 71 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold And Silver Trophy Poems! by MJ Forgives.
700 points, ended December 1, 230 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
opinions, please. . .
Comments
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great repetition and flow
good work keep it up
kmp

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I hope you don't mind but just churned out a few chords to the rhythm of this piece. I wont steal it or anything, just wanted to see how it would sound. Came up with a bluesy sound. The repition is perfect for it. Great write, good to see some of us come out of slump with grace ; )
Keep penning, thanks for the read and sweet melody.

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oh I don't mind at all!
in fact, I'm flattered
thanks for your comment, and indeed, I shall keep penning
Elinor
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:[
damn
i want to see what your midn can churn out when u dont have writers block
*goes overto your page*
hhaha
good stuff!!!!!
mucho amor,
oldschool

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thank you, oldschool
glad you like
be well
Elinor
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What a wonderful piece to come out of a slump with Guess if it was me I'd be looking for another slump to get into If this is what it can produce
Excellent

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Interesting
Would you agree it's a sort of double triolet? -
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oh yes
the form is officially called a triolet sonnet
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Sooo lovely! I love fantasy/story telling poetry and this is a beauty!
The mystery surrounding who she was, why she died and who was left behind tantalises, whilst the rich imagery paints a vivid picture. Well crafted poet!
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful write.
Lianonsidhe


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oh thank you thank you
I am so pleased you think so - it was really only a poem to get me out of a slump. . .but it turned out so well. . .
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Very good!
It's not only very good - it's absolutely magnificent: nostalgic and a little sad...

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Good penning, I loved the flow of your write... good job!
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aah oh my god... this is haunting.. and incredibly smart.. i really wasn't expecting that ending.. fantastic rhyme and amazing flow, but really the best thing about this poem was how it was written.. its beautiful. very well done, and congratulations on the spotlight!
xx
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thanks!
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this is so beautiful, no wonder its in the spotlight
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This is wonderful! Congratulations on the Spotlight! I love the rhyme and flow!


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Classic! with imagery that is flawless and dramatic. This tragedy of a fallen lady, is in the style of Poe. It works so well!
There is a name for your rhyming form but it escapes me right now. I like it so much!



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thanks for your comment, poet!
yes, it is in the style of Poe - as he is one of my favorite poets, he influences a lot of my work. . .
the form is officially a triolet sonnet
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It's beautiful! So simple and yet creates a song of sweet remembrance.


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This is a really great write. I can see why it was nominated to be featured on the front page of the site in the "In the Spotlight" section.


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THis is good for having writers block!!

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Well you did an excellent job at defeating your writers block I must say
All it takes is one good poem to get past it
-Steve-

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I agree with Eusebius. Would you send me your writer's block? LOL! If I could only write like that all the time while unblocked!


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oh, I would gladly send you my writer's block, but I'm afraid that it stubbornly refuses to attach to anyone but me. . .
thanks for your wonderful comment
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This is fantastic! Potent, lovely, lyrical, haunting, enthralling! This is a fine and polished jewel! superb! oh, did I say I loved it? I do!
















