free

Deep inside I felt the emptiness, it was so cold an I knew the loneliness but I couldn’t face it alone or so I thought... it took more than I was ready for, giving it my all was not enough, because it was to much in all... I hid behind broken smiles, an tears that fell when no one was watching, I cried myself to sleep many nights wishing u could see it the way I did..  or hope that you’d open your eyes b4 it was to late, but a dream is a dream , an a wish is a wish, something that can be seen but not touched, something u can long for but never reach... hollow in the mind heart an soul, there is nothing there, I’m empty..
I’m helpless, to what I need, I cant dry those tears they dry with time, pieces of me are laying around me, shattered, hurt broken, an blame it all on u...  u took it all away, my love, my life.... they always told me if u love something let it go but if it comes back its yours to keep, I don’t believe that saying.....
I’m screaming, break me free of this emptiness, show me u care break theses smile for which aren’t really true, give me something to believe, give me a reason to hate it more than I already do, give me a reason to be tormented more as it eats at me an breaks me more than ever, I cant stand it much longer, screaming in agony all I needed was u, an u shot me thru the heart with the words,an breaking me more an more, scaring me of freedom, if this is what its like breaking an innocent love I have no reason to want it, as it eats at me I feel it consume my body knowing its taking over, I cant control this anymore, breathing heavy, I’m fading from light, as it takes over controlling my every move, LOVE its a four letter joke, one that’s so cruel to people, that it devours us, an we believe a lie an we forgive even if we don’t want to, we cant open our eyes, its only pain when its over... I rise above myself an I watch as I’m balled up gasping for air that’s not coming to me, an I see that it never will, because u have taken it away, I needed this, I needed to know u were there, I needed to feel u one last time, I needed to feel the touch of your soft lips one last time, I needed to hear u say I love you one last time, I need to know it was gone, I needed u most of all, but that was to much for me to ask for because u couldn’t handle it, because I was real, an u was fake the loved u said u had was a game to you, an it was over in a blink of an eye it was nothing more to u, it was something to me, the memories will never fade, they will always be there, but I’ll burn the evidence that u were in my life.. an I’ll hopefully forget the memories that dance across my eyelids as they replay, I hear it inside my head the conversations the thoughts that cross my mind as I hear it, tithe razor it was my friend, will it still is there?will it still take a slice an give me a relief give me silence from for a few moments enough to give me an escape, enough to let me break free, end the torment just for a moment, tease me with your release, let me see that it can fade out slowly... breaking into my thoughts I feel it, cutting very slow an deep, dripping so much I feel nothing, I forget my own name an I know there is release, I feel it, I can reach it, I can hear calling out to me I need this freedom.. It blinds me, just like u did… makes me more happier I cant see or feel pain, but I realize it fades an its gone making me want it more, an I keep going knowing its no good for me, but I need this I need to breath, I need to be freed of this insanity that u have put me in... Give me this last chance… just once more