these
fields of wheat ripple
long after the chilly guerrilla of death
and across the floors of ash and timber
paces a beautiful blue-eyed elk woman from a dream
a flat green hair ribbon
dripping into the sad void beneath time & gown
waiting waiting
for the ships to come in
for the clatter of a midnight train
to rush them out the doors in their pajamas
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
delicious, like cooling smoke, with a real gone ending that invokes in me a certain displaced/dissociative feeling that is one of my most personal and inspiring feelings.
in short dearest hannah this twists me in a great way.
-
A O K Trusty
-
I love the image of the somnambulant masses swarming the streets in pajamas to the music of the train
there is the pleasant rhyme of ribbon and drip - consider:
flat green ribbons drip into the sad void between time and gown
popcorn
-
surreal
and lovely
m
-
This is eerily beautiful...all drift and dream and romantic, ethereal imagery. And then the gorgeous clattering train at the end, the pyjamaed passengers who you can't help imagine being all bleary eyed and stumbling and startled.
Gorgeous. Especially the lines 'a flat green hair ribbon / dripping into the sad void beneath time and gown'. Mermaid-like and melancholic. Just perfect.
I wish you posted a poem on here every day; I never seem to have enough hannahpoems to read.
-
Very nice
-
the clatter of a midnight train will get me every time.
This is a dream and I lovely one.
I liked it a lot
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
