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Junk

Follow the Yellow Brick Road-
trace fingers smoothly over the glass
stuttering nails on millilitre measurements

eked out to count steps taken in liquid indulgence.

fingering glassware like worry stones

 

Blacktar to treacle to maple to oil,

and I'm melting, melting

 

My straw coloured satan,

brick by brick or drop by drop,

leaving me dreaming in poppy fields.

But I'm the wicked witch

with the wizened, waifish skin

 

My Emerald City is bruise-blue

raised and stung where rivers dried up

in the creases of my elbows

leaving my arms collapsing, 

and me, searching a fragile frame

for open roads.

 

 

I can click my heels all I want

I still need the needle to bring me home.  

 

 

Author notes

This will be edited. Probably too late for the contest, but I'm not happy yet.

This all came off the poppy fields out of Oz. Poppies = opium = heroin. Not sure if it works.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • nicki1
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    Right, this is awesome, obviously. Lovely, lovely imagery. I think I went on about it when I commented your older poems, but you have an amazing ability to create images in my head when I read! It's like your poems are rich, chocolate fudge cakes and every bite is filled with delciousness. All killer and no filler would be a more succinct way of getting my point across!
    (I know some people don't like rich chocolate desserts but I think they are the best thing that has ever come out of a kitchen)

    I really liked this bit:
    "stuttering nails on millilitre measurements
    eked out to count steps taken in liquid indulgence"

    I can't think of a better reason than that it sounds great!

    Also this:
    "in the creases of my elbows
    leaving my arms collapsing"

    Again creating images in my mind.

    I could tell fairly easily that it was about heroin before reading the author notes, but you didn't make it too obvious. It was a nice balance between that and being too obscure. So I think using the poppy fields from Oz did work.

    Wonderful stuff!


    • Fairies on Fire
      August 11
      Edit | Reply
      I think you just won best long comment!

      LOVE YOU NICKI


      • nicki1
        August 11
        Edit | Reply
        YES!
        I'll admit I did copy and paste bits of your poem but I accept this title anyway.

        LOVE YOU TOO


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    July 13
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I am obsessed with the Wizard of Oz. I'm currently reading the entire Oz series (15 books, actually, by L. Frank Baum). I was reading through the entries to this contest, and this is the only one I've commented on. This is amazing. You did a fantastic job with the prompt. I loved it. The imagery was astounding.
    Best of luck in the contest, hope you get gold.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~

  • Great take on the prompt, full of dark imagery, yummy and delicious window pane....


  • Miss Macabre
    July 12

    Edit | Reply
    Fucking amazing. Love drug poems, and this is just so creative. I really love this entry, thanks for entering and best of luck.

1 - 6 of 6