and when we walked into the hopistal room
we knew there was something
wrong.
mariah and i, sat still as chickens
as my tear-stained father
sat
told us
she has
she has
she has
a
brain
tumor.
"mother! mother!
where are you my mother
in this tiny body? what
have they taken from you
to make your bones show
thru that olive skin
that does not resemble mine.
mother! mother!
talk to me, please
please please tell me
tell me this is a nightmare
that they're lying
that you have meningitis instead
please, mother! mother!"
crying, fearful
of her possible cancer
of her under the knife
of her recovery
of her medical bills and my
college tuition.
i cried, insane
breathing somehow
aching with anxiety
and then suddenly
i stopped.
she turned to me.
"they know what it is?"
it's bad, but yes,
mother,
they know.
"surgery, tomorrow?"
yes, mother.
her weakness
brought tears
i wanted to
pick her up and
take her away
and find her
a cure. a cure!
a cure.
"mother! mother!
i love you so."
and how to say it, now.
sounds like
tomb-er
but no.
strong, healthy and
vibrant there will be no
talk of death only
recovering, recover,
mother.
they shaved part of her head.
her face was swollen
like a thousand bees
had stung her.
they hadn't touched
the brain stem.
but found
lit
tle
ba
ls
of
grow
ths
in
her
spi
ne
in the mri.
oh god.
oh god oh god oh,
daddy.
my father,
the strongest of them all
fell.
he fell into
a rocking chair and
breathed.
he breathed into my arm
when i hugged him and
tears.
his tears fell reluctantly
into the bend
of my elbow.
and today,
she speaks.
and today,
she is moving.
and today,
she is eating.
and today,
is the first day
of many.
Author notes
this is real.
i wish it wasn't
oh, say what you mean
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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this is absolutely amazing.
if i cried more, this would've done it.
my mother had a false alarm with ovarian cancer last year, and this really hit home for me.
this is so beautiful.
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wow, I just had to say this is really amazing... I love the way you have portrayed the spine and the whole crazy feeling of gloom, shock and despair that goes into something so life-altering as a parent getting severely ill - leading up to hope of eventual recovery. I really hope your mom makes good progress and that all is well.
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baby this poem is amazing and you are amazing and your mother is amazing. i love you and all my prayers (because i do pray sometimes) are for your wonderful mother. everything is okay pretty girl. headupheadup.
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i'm so sorry to hear about your mother.the poem itself is truly creative but hate that your family has to go through this.
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and i love you.
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i am praying for you.
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oh my god.
you once told me i rip the bare truth with my teeth. i haven't come close to this, ever, this pain arching...this .... i feel guilty calling it "beauty" but how can you find a sense of god in this much pain? oh honey honey, my prayers...
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hugs and love and peace and strength
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I haven't commented on your work in a while, but I felt that I needed to comment on this. I'm not going to give you pity, since I know that usually that is the last thing anyone wants... but I am sorry for what you and your family are going through. The last few lines of this seemed so uplifting, and I hope that everything turns out all right.
This is gutwrenching. I love it.
Best wishes,
Tegan
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oh, wow! very moving poem and full of hope in the last few words! it's something to believe in. I love this.
sorry to hear
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