A shepherd sat upon a hill,
Beneath an oak, beside a stream;
Spoke not a word, heard not a sound,
Upon that knoll, so sharp and still;
Perhaps in trance, or in a dream;
He moved not, from his chosen ground.
While sheep, white clouds on skies of green;
Played gaily in the noonday sun;
They noticed not the shepherd man;
Who made no sound, and was not seen;
By sheep that frolicked in their fun,
Beside the canvassed caravan.
But, Eagle saw, and Eagle heard,
The message from the meadow there;
Those young lambs were not attended.
They did not fear this pinioned bird,
Who circled in the lofty air;
Where, both time and bird suspended.
And grey wolf saw, and grey wolf knew
The fleecy sheep were easy prey,
For he did know where grasses grow;
Where he might lurk, as wolves will do,
For just one lamb to go astray,
Beside the stream where waters flow.
Like rugged rock the old man seemed,
And stirred not from his shaded place;
While sheep did play within their caste,
Bright eyes reflected, and they dreamed
On Eagle's, man’s and wolfish face,
Their hungers burned, the minutes passed.
A lamb came to the pond to drink;
Serenity became undone.
From grass and skies the shadows came,
With not a moment left to think
How death can touch us, everyone.
The shepherd was the one to blame.
For lambs will play as lambs will do
And frolic on the pastures green
This shepherd did not tend his sheep
And failed to think what might ensue
When he misjudged the placid scene
With eyes wide open fell asleep.
Author notes
Rhyme scheme for this poem is abcabc six lines per verse.
Read from it what you will, for me it is a parody of life.
A contest entry
- Thank you, Carolyn by Sonja.
5000 points, ended July 17, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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i am very very sorry but i became really bored after the second verse and just thought you were rambling, not to my liking is this poem, but i am just one voice in a billion on the planet... so that's okay. sorry, i did not like this at all. and i am not being mean, i simply did not like it, i am being honest.
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Bravo, Bravo, Bravo!
Wow...
Incredible rhythm and rhyme throughout. Not an easy rhyme scheme to pull off but you sure tackled it perfectly dear. I read this a few times and it seems that you have masterfully woven several messages into this one write by using all the different charactors and allowing the reader to attach themselves to one or the other or even all of them by reading it as I did over and over again and grabbing a different one and changing their point of view. That makes this a very clever write and a true testament to your talent. I certainly hope that the contest host really takes the time to read this and I mean REALLY reads this! Because this is not just a great poem, it is a masterpiece!
I wish you the best of luck dear, I think you have set the bar pretty dang high for this one. This is certainly worthy of a gold trophy in my opinion.
Suzi
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Thanks Suzi!
I hope this poem does well in the contest, too, for it means much to me. I have not had many reviews, but some take exception to the rhyme scheme, which for me makes the poem. The poem has been in the works for years. You are right, the reader can choose to alilgn themselves with any one of the characters, or even see it as a biblical type of parody. Life is like that. Often we are undone, not by anything we have had a hand in, but by powers or events that had nothing to do with us. I'm so pleased you liked this one.
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Beautiful meter and rhythm and rhyme. Thank you for bringing to us a piece of your poetical world..
~Sonja~
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Thank you Sonja - I appreciate your comments. I hope that you enjoyed this poem and its many interpretations. I am new to AP, but not to writing poetry. I used to compete at poetry recitals, and although I was free to choose any author for the competition, I often used my own works. I love older style poetry and the grace and the flow it has. It is my hope that one day, the world will once again embrace poetry as something of great beauty, just like mankind has done for centuries. Rose.
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Yes I feel this poem can be interpreted in many ways, very thought provoking. It didn't end the way I expected guess because I tend to think of Christ as the shepherd so I was reading it in a spiritual form. The flow did not quite work for me but it is a very difficult rhyming scheme to work with.
Cherry xxx
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Thank you Cherryl -
The poem can be interpreted as Christ being our Shepherd - The message is that even though we have Him to watch over us, we must also take responsibility for our actions. I do welcome all points of view on this poem. It is for each person to derive the POV that is closest to them. I appreciate your comments on the flow. I know it may have been a bit of a tough go. Thanks for sticking with it! Rose. -
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just2write
No problem It is a very interesting read Rose and a very difficult rhyming scheme to choose so I think you did very well.
Cherry xxx
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This rhyming technique was difficult, yet you hit a home run with this.Your word usage is nothing short of fabulous,..I am amazed at how to pull together your thoughts and emotions, and combine them into what you have done with this piece..So much talent you have..I an jealous...I understand your message in this poem..Never be caught off guard..Never assume life will provide you positive moments all the time..We all have to work hard, and be
alert at all times..Be prepared..Great write...So smile and take a bow
John
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Right on.
You hit the nail on the head. You cetainly got one of the messages from this poem. There are several, and the messages come in many ways - it depends on your point of vew, and whether you see yourself as the sheherd, the sheep, the wolf, the eagle, or the speaker. I beileve you saw the saw the shepherd, but your comments would be true for the lamb as well.
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