These horrible headaches have replaced sleep, and the sleep I manage to get is filled with nightmares. My brain keeps replaying the not-so-good endings of the books I read, replacing the characters with the people I care the most about. I can't stand watching their cars crash and cuts bleed in these horrible nightmares.
I feel like I've been walking around like some kind of robot.
Like everything I say or do happens because of some hidden remote control. Like there's strings tied to my hands and feet and someone is controlling every move I make.
How I've really been feeling is hidden behind an extremely convincing fake smile. No one here can see through it though. And I'm glad for that. It's easier to avoid their questions that I can't give them answers to.
When I finally feel better about one thing I have something new to keep me feeling depressed and alone. I don't think I've ever missed my love this much before. Its hard to live each day without him, but thoughts and daydreams of another week with him at the end of the month keep me going. I've never been the kind of person to daydream constantly until recently..
On the Bright Side...
only a few more days until the new Harry Potter movie comes out!
yay!
it's pretty sad that that's the only bright side.. oh well
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