Sunset sorrows
And a lonely parade,
The days that slip away,
The kisses not given,
This heartache never leaves.
The old songs
And familiar voices,
The tenderness in affectionate eyes,
The dreams shared that disappear
In the onward march of time,
I still love who you are.
Glasses of wine
And a Christmas toast,
The midnight laughter
When we were young
And death and sadness
Had no place,
How will I live
Without seeing your face?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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The words lift off the page,
as if looking for hope
while reflecting the loss.
The mood you set holds one
on this page....
M-C
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i came to read another poem and though i would normally pull up people on punctuation i will not riht now. a good poem.
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This is very beautifully written. It speaks of the happy times and then the sad times. It was full of so much emotion. I really enjoyed the read!!!
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touching poem
i especially like these lines:
The dreams shared that disappear
In the onward march of time,
I still love who you are.
truly love should never fade...
i think that if you remove or minimize the use of "and", "the", "this" and "that" it would become more powerful.. example:
Sunset sorrows
A lonely parade.
Days had slipped away,
Kisses not given.
Heartache never left.
just a suggestion.. its still up to you and your message.. =)
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A piece full of soulful mourning that anyone who has been touched by the loss of a friend will identify with. I love the proclamation in the last line of stanza 2. I just came from a morning concert in the square where they did a Simon and Garfunkle medley and was kind of weepy as I read this.
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Hmm. This is an interesting piece. I really liked the read. It is short, but tells a good story, it kind of leaves me wanting more. It has a sense of mystery to it, becuase I want to know more about the story behind it. I give you props because this is really well written free-verse, and I have a tendancy to stick to a rhyme theme with my poems, so bravo for that. I really love the first stanza, even the first line "sunset sorrows," that is a beautiful line. It is so descriptive in such few words. And "lonely parade," it provides a lot of imagery in the little lines, "the heartach never leaves," oh so very true. This provides a really beautiful story here. Wonderful job. Great write poet.
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