Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Take my hand

take my hand,
follow me,
take my hand,
for sweet release,
follow me,
hear sweet songs,
the willow sings,
the night time long,
on this wooden swing,
let me push you,
lest I make you smile,
kiss me in the moonlight,
beneath the clear night sky,
follow me,
beneath the tree,
dancing sweetly,
midst willow leaves,
with music playing,
a gentle breeze howls


A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • forbidden-colour
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    I thought using " howls" right after "gentle breeze" made the poem kind of like a contradictions, a "gentle breeze" doesnt "howl" It simply whispers, sways, moves, anything but howls!

    Thank you for enteirng
    Sophie