fear of being alive

I cringe as I wake to the sound of his belt coming off of his pants.
Eyes opened wide,
Heart pounding hard,
And body trembling.
I was already face down on the floor from earlier that day.
The whoosh sound of leather rapidly going through the air made my stomach jump to my throat. I dared to let a sound escape my lips when with a loud crack the exploding pain came. Soon after, the blood started coming and I could feel my shirt absorb most of it. Then with kicks to my side, my eyes flutter and everything goes black, passing out yet again.

Banished to the corner of the room I hold my knees close, trying to be invisible. Obviously my attempt failed. As soon as I heard him come down the hall I started breathing hard trying to keep up with my heart. Then with a slam the door shut and he clicked it locked. I kept my head down as cold sweat almost drenched my trembling body. My throat went dry as  I caught a glimpse of a thick chain. I gently closed my eyes and tried to think of ways to block out the soon to come excruciating pain. When a big hand grabbed my shoulder and pushed me into a laying position on the floor. My hands were fisted as I tried to tighten my whole body.
This happens every night so I don’t understand the fright that I always feel. I guess that its just a way of my body telling me that its still alive.