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commonplace

 

 

 

 

 

the mosaic tiled street lamp
is a charcoal pencil

drawing the planks
of a long porch floor

and flowers
grey and withdrawn

like small tight fists
move in protest

at the instigation of wind

over shadowed roofs
stars quiver
far and beautiful

the moon
its obvious scars

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.

William Shakespeare, Hamlet. Act II. Sc. 2

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • ccawley gold member
    October 17

    Edit | Reply
    I love the imagery in your poetry! Just found your page...still reading


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    September 10

    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    'tis a very fine write, indeed. You always express your thoughts quite well with excellent imagery. Thanks for sharing this one with us.


  • individuality gold member
    August 31

    Edit | Reply
    a good piece of poetry penned, i was picturing the scene there, those lanterns with the coloured glass and the charcoal, i use the charcoal for the fine lines when doing pastel paintings, this made me think of that, an artistic air to it.


  • Barry Hodges
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    A very nice collection of words and images and thoughts - I probably didn't understand it but it still sounded nice!


  • 2lullabyhaven
    August 22

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    To be taken away, thanks for the tripsometimes one needs the respite


  • Nangaleema
    August 5

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    the title drew my attention. the ability to See what is around us every day is what enables one to be truly Alive.
    you have given each word weight through economy - and each word is well spent here. vivid scene.
    the flowers as fists are my favorite rendering in this. nice. - Mary Jo

  • boilerjim
    July 28

    Edit | Reply

    Vivid and brilliant

    You paint such great pictures, I always feel like I am there. Fact is often times I've seen the same things just never put them into words. You have revived me. Thanks! I have a way to go. Thanks for the the thoughts and words. Didnt comment on the applicability to the contest I got too excited, sorry.


  • Allyce May gold member
    July 24

    Edit | Reply
    I do believe that I specifically asked for an R&J quote

    Nevertheless, this is suitably impressive to a minion such as myself. In fact, I love how the poem relates to the quote without being bleedingly obvious. To be honest, I struggled a little with the lack of punctuation, but other than that it's wonderful. Short, concise and powerful.

    I echo everyone else when I say I wish you'd post more often


    • AJ Morelli gold member
      July 25
      Edit | Reply
      yeah, i see that now... i don't read too good...lol


      great contest


  • Cat gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    it's the gray flowers
    charcoal painted --their tiny fists balled and vivid

    and the moon's scars
    that moon we write about so often with its scarred surface
    cold or brilliant depending on perspective

    and those stars-- the beautiful ones we poets wish we could touch


  • Nevel
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful and your ending (half-way) is breathtaking....the sudden switches and short, but very vividly imagery. There is a mix of emotions inbedded also, sadness, acceptance...."the moon its obvious scars" magically done.
    Erwin


  • Saffron gold member
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    i think what i love the most about this is the description of the withered flowers, closed like tiny fists, defiant against the wind--and i also love the how the stars quiver, almost like in awe of the moon

    very lovely, al


  • Namita
    July 13

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    oh my this is beautiful. the first eight lines are immensely captivating... i love the moon and so beautifully you've put it in here... good good work, Al


  • mantis180
    July 13

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    Do you know... do have even the faintest idea what your words, your description, or amazing insight and invaluable presence in the world can do to a young, impressionable, starry eyed poet like myself? I do proclaim, you often steal my heart.


  • tara wilson gold member
    July 12

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    crisp, black and white images and then i love the exploration of focus in this & how your different imagery comes in and out of view as you transition from line to line and different lengths of view. so interesting & so lovely, i always get a little tingle of excitement when you post.

  • Rowan gold member
    July 12

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    I'm with Nicolette, wish you wrote more here.
    I've always loved the way you write about things, the way you see them. Gorgeous
    poetry.


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 12

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    beautiful poetry, al...simply stunning. you should write more

    ~ Nicolette


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    July 11
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    Yep, I concur with m.

    Stunning AJ.


  • Peteskid gold member
    July 11

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    wonderful selection from Hamlet, and the words seem to sketch a scene watched by an artists eyes, filling in meanings...enjoyed...PK


  • Night Hope gold member
    July 11

    Edit | Reply

    This is quite the lovely penning, Scribe. The quotation you've used to inspire this piece has always been one of my own favorites, as well. It's good to see you posting again. Good luck in Allyce's contest.




  • Cat gold member
    July 11
    Edit | Reply
    stunning.. will be back after i catch my breath

1 - 21 of 21