This is me.

This is who I am,
and I’m so sorry,
If it isn't what you wanted.
If I don't fit your description of "perfect",
Or if i'm just a little bit broken,
But this is me.
Not the mask I used to show you,
Not my pretend persona,
Just me.

This is the rain on the roof at night,
Listening as the lonely cry,
This is the smile on someone’s face,
Ever so slowly fading away.
This is me.

Why can't you
Just accept that?
I can't change for you, and,
I would never want to.
There's beauty in a breakdown,
Sometimes I'm glad when no one catches me as I fall,
I get reminded that I'm alive when I hit the ground.
Call me a masochist if you will, but,
This is me.

This is the sound of a heart as it breaks,
Feel the despair, the emptiness, the ache.
This is imperfection's peak,
The most shattered and insane and weak.
This is me.

I'm sorry,
If this isn't what you wanted to see.
But this is me,
That beautifully broken,
Trapped within herself girl,
Who doesn't think the reflection in the mirror
Could ever EVER be good enough to keep you here,
And lies awake counting the days and heartbeats
Until she can rest in peace,
This is me.

This is the car just before it crashes,
The love letter you never sent as it burns down to ashes,
The feelings you forgot you had,
The girl that smiles even though she's so sad.
This is me.

I'm sorry.
This is me,
I'm not faking perfection,
Or happiness,
Or hope,
Or faith,
Not anymore.
I’ve had just about all i can take,
I swear I'm about to break,
But this is me.

This is depression at its worst,
Suicide waiting to see what happens first,
This is the drug that kills the pain,
And the side-effect that drives you insane
This is me.

This is me,
Broken and crazy,
cursed and jaded,
Imperfect, and alone.
This is the monster I have become.
This is me.

And I hate what I am,
I wish for someone to hold my hand,
But I’m better off on my own,
For all the pain I’ve caused,
And the wounds that won’t heal.

This is me.
Take me as I am,
Or kill me where I stand.
For all my imperfections,
My flaws, my faults,
I’ll be damned if I ever change.