like 4 minutes and 33 seconds
like 1953
like the hum of a transformer
an empty room
the sound of cracked paint
the sound of dust floating in sunlight
the sound of no one walking down the staircase
an empty room
silence of the long lost
silence in light and in darkness
silence of the deaf sleeping
an empty room
a tea ceremony in chaos
a wee morning hour in a cinema
a flickering conversation between Clara Bow and Harold Lloyd
an empty room
Author notes
A contest entry for: the empty room of night.
I liked the prompts very much and found the theme married well with this work of this photographer who was recently featured in a magazine I read.
Photo:"17th and Catharine #1" by Jeffrey Stockbridge.
In a list
A contest entry
- the empty room of night - Contest by just mercedes.
1600 points, ended July 16, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Bravolicous.
Esp liked "the sound of no one walking down the stairs" and " a tea ceremony in chaos"
So many original ways you've found to fill in the cracks of the tracks of emptiness.
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wow
a long sigh and a wow
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You know... you're incredibly talented.
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Thank you for this entry into the contest.
You've taken the prompt into a universal place for me, linking the past with potent images of stillness, the hum of silence, the sounds of emptiness.
I like the repetition of the title as end line of each stanza, emphasizing the 'empty'. The picture you referred to was no longer on your page, so I couldn't refer to it, but your poem stands well without it.
The fragments of images in each stanza work together well, imparting a feeling that goes beyond words and enters the senses. I love 'the sound of cracked paint' - such a miniscule sound that you've amplified here until it demands attention, and makes the other sounds in that stanza heard.
'silence of the deaf sleeping' is a wonderful line - just stopped me in my tracks.
'tea ceremony in chaos' for some reason was the most disturbing to me of the images of 'empty' you displayed. The empty cinema, the black and white silent movie flickering - very potent.
Great presentation, I like the trouble you took with the form, the austerity that contains such richness.
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Thanks for your encouragement, Mercedes!
I've been a bit in limbo; my silver membership had expired but Jeffrey Stockbridge's great photo is back up now if you're curious to see it... -
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Oh yes, perfect for the prompt - and it is a great poem, you brought your vision and concentrated it so well.
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Your prompt seemed to resonate deeply with all those who entered a poem!
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I know - I was very honoured by the standard of the entries - it took me 8 hours to comment and judge, and I was exhausted at the end!
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Get some rest before your next contest!
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now thats a great poem
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thankee, ms.naughty...
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I love the poem and it certainly did marry with the picture. Kind of gives one many ideas. your poem spoke much about the meptiness of this room...of the things around decaying and seeing no life. It was well presented. I wish you the very best in the contest.
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