Rule #1
Use your inner Muse and listen to your heart,
there you'll find the answers on where you want to start
Make sure you don't use form, for that would be so bad,
if it rhymes, make sure that all the ending words are sad.
Rule #2
Please, don't use the words with 3 syllables to start,
for that is plain right cheating, besides it's just not smart
Pick and choose the title, make sure it's not been done,
for that would be disasterous, not to say it's just not fun
Rule #3
Pleeease don't bore me with such nonsense as a topic that is dark,
no cutting, and no suicide, and no happy tree filled parks
The sky is filled with endless clouds, and moonbeams that do glow,
But, please my dear, it's stabbed to death and now that topic blows
Rule #4
Here's a bank of words that I feel may not be disclosed,
in any poem submitted or I'll pull it before exposed....
beauty, ugly, saddness, happy, bloody, clean, or fluffy,
ponds, or iceburgs, feathers, lace, or anything that's puffy
Rule #5
Although, colors are so vivid, and there's much that they describe,
I won't allow such images in this contest (unless of course you bribe!)
Now, don't write about the weather, Oh my God that's such a bore,
I much prefer to hear about the common street corner whore!
Rule #6
No fruit, no pets, no fabric, .....no air you cannot breathe,
don't overuse your grammar on ends like "a sword to sheathe"
Just so you will rhyme and it's the perfect count you need.
Try to make the words make sense or I just will not read!
Rule #7
No CAPS, NO StIcKY things, no OMG or BFF....now please!
If I want to read the half done words, I'd call my friend Louise.
I hope this contest gets lots of entries, because it's so much fun,
to read the talent that we have with the limitations that we run
Rule #8
If you figure out what to write about, you're doing better than me,
because I have decided that my poetry shouldn't limit just to please.
I will write of things I feel whenever that feeling may pass,
and if the judges don't like my words, then they can kiss my feet!!!!!!
Author notes
Just a little humor! Hope you get a laugh!
- Classic Rock Poetry group list • next in list
Your Thoughts?
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
-
I felt the last stanza was a big let down as it used too much slang and too many exclamation marks. Maybe stick to being "serious" - ah well, just a pensée.
-
Outstanding
I enjoyed reading this poem which got me laughing. It just about sums up allpoetry contests though I've noticed some where adjectives have been outlawed which is just ridiculous. Thank you for posting.
-
This is so flockin' good!!This is the funniest,most on the mark,well written piece I have seen since....Cairo 1939. I hearby award you the Venomous Toad 500 point Award for Excellence.Congratulations!
-
-
Holy Crap!! Thank you for the points!! and the comments!! It just had to come out!!
-
-
A Kindred Spirit!
I feel every bit of this poem. You wrote the truth in a very funny way. Some of these contest holders make you wonder why they are having a contest with all the restrictions they have. You have completely captured that here. I'd love to see the expressions on the faces of those whose rules mirror what you've written. Think maybe it will make them loosen up? Naw I doubt it. Then they would feel so powerful. I loved this. Can I still enter? Or was m7y comment too long? LOL!
-
-
LOL!! That is great! I never expected to see so many posts about this poem!! I love it!!
Also, I am so glad you joined Lovin The Blues! I have been meaning to invite you, but I really wanted the members to come on their own (without me pushing them) so that it would be because they really loved the blues and not out of a favor to me!!
Allexis
-
-
I Loved it and laughed and laughed!
dang....there goes my weather story about a lovely oozing slug!
lol
i'm a freewriter, so sometimes I don't know where a prompt is
going to lead me, what metaphor will catch my ink and attention.
What needs flushing out or helium uplifting my soul!
loved it!
way to write it Allexis!
ears/Seattle
-
-
LOL! I still want to see that poem about the weather and a lovely oozin slug!!
You know what prompted me to write this one!!
-
-
Oh BTW...I really like that picture you used...reminds me of Poe....
-
I just Loved This!!!! You have crafted an amusing twist on AP contest rules...What happened to those of us in school who said screw the rules...LOL....but I can understand why you have to put at least some basic rules up, otherwise, there would be no challenge and a lot of bad mojo would be created....Great write!!!!
-
-
That is true! And I was definately one of them in school who said screw the rules!! "Still do sometimes"!!
Thanks for the comment!
-
-
The picture is so awesome too Allexis!
These rules make it virtually impossible to scribe!
This is funny!
-
LOL and right on, sometimes they are exactly that absurd or so confusing they are pointless. You did this well and brightened.
-
-
Oh yeah remember ... no pictures coz I can't see and read at the same time. Or clever plays on words and sounds ... that's not "real" poetry. And don't get your feelings hurt if I dq you for not righting the write way This is wonderful satire and a good chuckle at the snobbery of personal taste vs creative expression
-
-
LOLOL!! Too funny!! Glad you liked it!
-
-
Interesting! A group of criteria in proverb style.
Due to how unique this is, I believe it is out of my element
to critique. A great one for lyrics. Is it?
Thank you so much! Warmly, CookieZeal
-
-
No, not lyrics. I just wanted to do one for laughs!! We all host contests and make up rules. I was given a hard time for the rules to my last contest!! So, this is what I came up with.
-
-
What a laugh! Snotty things, aren't we. And wait until you're rejected with, "You obviously didn't read the rules." Check ou my latest contest - I'll take anything you send me. I mention rhyme only because I am not a good judge of that style. Have fun.
-
-
That's funny!! I just wanted to send some humor everyone's way!! I thought this would be a good one because of all the contests we do!! I was ridiculed (spelling??) on my last contest because of my "rules" and I thought, well don't enter it then!! LOLOL
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 20 of 20
