Come true, my dream of what is soon to come
I dreamt that you were with me, so was I
Succumb to foes who beg me to succumb
Supply, in short, had limited supply
Then give me all I ever wanted then
Please, hand it back, or throw it, if you please
When time is harsh, it never warns us when
Disease will burn our dreams or strike disease
For years I have not known what they are for
But I am true to them, and nothing but
More often than I wake, I dream of more
Put kindly, they come true, but harshly put
Too many nights have took me with them too
You god of dreams, I will be back for you
A contest entry
- Shakespearean Sonnet Summer Rounds by Little Eagle.
600 points, ended August 14, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thank you for your entry
The words repeated at the beginning and end of each line was a bit off-putting to be blunt.
I felt it hard to get the full meaning because it threw me off.
The syllable count was perfect and the alternating rhyme scheme was well done. The mechanics of the poem were exact and perfect. The meter was right on as well. Technically this was a good poem.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
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Fair enough =] Thanks.
Was it the words themselves as you read them, or the fact that they were repeated?
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Hmm
This is so interesting! As I was reading I was getting intricate bits of rhyme and I wasn't sure where it was coming from until I realized that the first and last word of each line were the same. I've never seen that technique before! And you did it so fluidly! To add this small intricacy to an already complex structure was ingenious. Very well done :-) -
AWESOME!!!!!!
Really amazing and a great rhyme, done with such simplicity!!!
Great!!
Superb lines -
Too many nights have took me with them too
You god of dreams, I will be back for you
WOW!!!!
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I'll be honest; I quite like this poem because the fact that the first and last word are the same in every line doesn't seem to take much from the meaning.
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YES!! Thats what makes it sooo interesting!
And I feel it must me quite hard to do that!!
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