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hosanna






this poetry
pours himself
from between my body's murray molecules


and

he grins
green-blue
to see

how every bit of my spindly arms
                        is flung out in excelsis against the sky.





Author notes

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murray_River

image credit: http://villesgodgirl.deviantart.com/art/floating-in-love-128627433

A contest entry

critique please.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • AngieLynne
    July 16
    Edit | Reply
    How thoughtful and well written!


  • forbidden-colour
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    "and

    he grins
    green-blue"

    Brilliant, I will have to add you to the finalist list, as this is just pure gold.
    Thank you for entering.
    Sophie


  • Age of Rain
    July 10
    Edit | Reply
    eww on the background, but kudos for the poem. best of luck!