I've never felt like this before
Chills up my spine at one stroke of your hand
Butterflies crowd in the pit of my stomach
Never settling, ever beating their wings against the dam of my essence
Infatuated
Can't you feel the lasting shock?
The jolt on the edge of your tongue, on the tips of your fingers, on the skin between your legs when our lips lock
I know you feel it because the air grows thick with magic
It folds under the pleats of your braids, 'round the bends of my hair and into my skin
Wrapping itself keenly around my heart, squeezing too tight for air
Never letting go
You've got me, I'm yours
Keep me afloat
You bring me so high I could fly
Higher than the birds and the planes
Higher than the clouds, the rain
With you, the earth can fit snug in the palm of my hand
The moon is just an arm's length away
The stars thrill at our touch
Our electricity is infectious
Our magic— lust!
At the sight of your face, ecstasy becomes me because it's you who's shown me what love is
And at each curve in your skin, my fingers betray me and caress hungrily, longingly, grateful that I now know this feeling
And at the end of it all, it's you
When I laugh or smile, it's you
When I can't sleep at night, it's you
Consuming me and everything about me
You're more than just a part of me
My better half would be an understatement because what you've done is turn me into a bigger and better whole
Showed me who I can be
You planted and grew my wings
And you've taught me how to fly
So to thank you, my love, this is why I write
A contest entry
- PRWRITE CONTEST FOR ALL by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended August 2, 1023 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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awwww, thats sweet, and a really cute write, well done you have definatly had a great go at writing a love poem, i htink who ever this is for would/will love it
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In answer to your question - Without doubt, this most definitely could be construed as being a love poem. It's very intense, passionate, sensual, slightly erotic. I'm not sure if being this completely consumed with anyone or anything leaves me feeling particularly comfortable personally. You mention 'infatuation' so that puts another perspective on things. (Love/infatuation ... discuss ? )
It makes for an interesting read though and, taking aside some of the more obvious cilches in the piece, some of the words and imagery work very well and conveys the strong, almost uncontrolable emotion that can be fired-up in a physical relationship !
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This is good enough to be a modest erotica (if there ever is such a thing)!
Your words caught me and held my attention throughout this piece. It gives the reader a familiar tingle of passion and love wrapped into one thick, velvety blanket strewn on the floor. (Three guesses as to why it's on the floor lol)
I might be getting a little carried away in this comment, but I just ate this poem up! It was beautiful and erotic without being nasty or crude...or cliche in the least.
This is a very good write; so raw, natural, and unrefined!
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I love it. You've captured all the ecstasy of being with your beloved. Don't change a thing- love is rough and pure, unfinished because it is neverending. Yours comes out flowing, and needs no revision.
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good poem
Edit it only to be true to your own judgement. I think it is great as it is but if you do not think so then edit it and ask that I reread it. Then I will again tell you what I think. My personal favorite line was: "Keep me afloat." To me it meant don't let me drown. Good job with this one.
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