The outburst of song
From a young child
Is beautiful
"Look at the moon,
Shining on the water."
I gaze upon where her eyes rest in the sky,
And hold her close by my side.
Because suddenly I am significantly less significant
Then I was a second ago
Author notes
I remember walking on the beach at night with my father and singing him this line.
A contest entry
- ~ By The Light Of A Harbour Moon ~ by Stuart Higginson.
1400 points, ended November 5, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Thanks for this contest entry, which I have enjoyed. I loved the opening stanza, and the simplicity of the format/style, also that of the matter you presented (which was simple yet profound). The closing stanza was poignant and the statement was well-delivered. Sometimes children do have the knack of making us realise there is something more important beyond oneself!
In criticism, I would say that I was disappointed this piece did not really focus much on presenting a harbour scene as I asked (lacking detail); nor did it present anything which really captured the spirit of the age - which I also required from entrants. The matter you presented, in the way it was presented, could've easily been applied to any adult-and-child in any century or year, from now dating back to an adult and child beside the water thousands of years ago. That said, it was a piece that I enjoyed reading nonetheless.
Note -- Exist(a)nce should be "exist(e)nce".
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