Short Story: Broken Petals

Thinking back I cannot honestly remember why I went into the store.  Mother probably asked me to pick something up on my way back from the college for her party later that night.  Or maybe it was fate.  Because I believe, I ever so sincerely believe we were brought together by an external ever-knowing force. 

I walked into the store and was blown away by all of the gorgeous smells, your smells.  You immediately captured my war torn heart.  Trying to get near you, I whispered to myself come, come, come.  ”Come home with me” I asked.  But no, not today, not today said the check-out man.  You were not ready.

As I drove home, thoughts of you flooded into my head.  Ignoring the urge to psychoanalyze my mind and feelings, I simply let them take over my being.  My psychology professor would not be pleased.  But really, how could such an infatuation overcome me so quickly?  Nothing I had ever experienced even came close to this; it was as if I was suddenly been slapped with a purpose by God.  Suddenly I did not want to go home.  Why did mother have to have a party tonight?  I just hope Brian doesn’t come, that would be the last thing I need on a night like this.  Shivering I cared not to remember what had happened the last time he came, the shoving and muffled screams.  Crying as he held me down.  Mother choosing to remain ignorant.  Perhaps I should not even return home, an evening stroll with a night under the stars sounded like a pleasant alternative.

I remember that night so clearly.  The rain, the cold, the darkness of the night, but I was warm inside, filled with love for you.  It felt powerful, this feeling and the truth of knowing there was nothing else I really wanted to live for.  The wind blew gently over the March gloom and I sheltered myself in the gazebo in the woods behind my house.  I could have gone into my room through the window, but I chose to be alone.  Let Mother host her own parties.  Sometimes I feel as though I was the mother, and she the daughter.  I waited… until the dawn broke open.

Driving by my house on the way out that morning I noticed the all cars still parked out front.  I couldn’t tell which one was Brian’s; he comes with a different car every time he comes over.  Disregarding my classes, my schedule, the rest of my life, I drove to the store hastily so I could (arousing some cops on the morning duty) be with you.  A kid my age opening the front door kindly let me in.  I found you immediately.  “Let’s go, let’s go!” I said.  I held onto you tightly as we walked to the car.

I brought you home that day, to the house of the Mother who throws wild parties.  Scattered people lay on the floor, recovering from last night’s drunkenness.  We stepped between and over them in attempt to sneak up to my room.  Sitting on the window seat we watched the world go by.  Children playing on the lawns, parents gossiping in the driveways; normal families, a normal community.  I thought about the mess downstairs.  “It’s all because…” I thought, “it’s all because of Brian.  She wasn’t like this before.”  My thoughts became mumbles and my mumbles because snores as I drifted off to sleep after a long night.  Sitting on the window seat with you.

You were gone.  I woke up to find the window open and you disappeared.  “Oh love, my only love!” I cried.  “why have you left me?”  I ran downstairs to look below the window, to try and find where you had left to.  Searching I found nothing and I cried out into the bushes, “Oh Lily love, Lily love come back to me!”  Then I noticed, across the way, the children I saw earlier picking away your petals and throwing them into the wind. 

Running crying sobbing.  The house my only refuge.  How could they take you away from me?  Why is everything taken away from me?  Into the house, into Brian’s waiting arms.  Closing my eyes I scream out of fear instead of loss.