A silent stillness lines my soul
A fear so empty engulfs the hole
But silence stands firm within my heart
No understanding of what tore me apart
Lost in myself I try to understand
But nobody's there to hold my hand
I stumble alone through a haze of time
Until I awake and realise what’s mine
Looking back I see how far I fell
And now I know I created my hell
Fear comes back to replay the time
I turned my back on what was mine
Emma, 2008
What did you think
Comments
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Thank you for the comments, this is very new, the first time!
I have NO knowledge or training in Poetry just that I have been writing them for as long as I remember therefore all comments are VERY welcome. -
Welcome to All Poetry
This is a very good poem with elements that the reader can relate to!
I like the form and subtlety.
*The Body*
It flows overall all. However, I would try and see if you can't
tweak the meter just a 'tad' since it jumps time.
"Nobody's" (contract for 'Nobody is' should replace 'nobodies'.
The ending is very good. I'd like to feature this for you
and see what others think.
Thank you for sharing! Warmly, CookieZeal/Site Greeter
as from me...
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Thank you for the comment, and taking time to reviw Lost. I was unsure about 'nobidies' I will ammend that, thanks.
As I said this is VERY new! So please explain what you mean by 'feature'
I really have no experience or teaching about poetry, apart from writing them ever since I remember, so I really apriciate your help, it's great to be able to share!
Thank you again, Emma
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